


i need a favour.

by patheticfallacies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Slow Burn, major fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21754435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patheticfallacies/pseuds/patheticfallacies
Summary: Fake dating. An ancient trope from the very beginning of time - or like, whenever the rom-com gods started working their movie magic. It’s tried and true, a move that always has a satisfying happy ending.Well, at least in the movies. In the real world, it’s a suggestion that’s much more messy and complicated for any sort of good end. It’s bitter and heart-wrenching and convoluted, leading to tears and shouts and vases being thrown - or, something like that. Could this trope even ever truly work?OR, Diego Hargreeves needs a favour unlike anything he’s ever asked for before, from someone who's only supposed to be his friend.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 262





	1. a favour asked like none ever before.

“I NEED YOU TO DATE ME.”

Of all the things she had heard leave Diego Hargreeves lips, perhaps that was the strangest one, to date.

It was the delivery that really sold it - though the words were crazy on their own, the way he said it did not help to make it more sane a request. Him, rushing in through her window as though his ass was on fire, clutching a bag and sporting a wild look in his eyes that never meant good. And before she could even mutter a single thing about him scaring her by doing that, or even finish the yelp of surprise she never could get over, he said those very words.

“I need you to date me.”

Y/N let her shouts of indigence die in her throat, replaced instead by confusion. She watched him dump the bag on her counter and act as he normally would; grab a beer, slip his boots by the door, as though it was his place and not hers. As though he had not just said the most outrageous sentence to ever be uttered in the history of their long and convoluted friendship.

“I - n - what!?”

Diego paused in his movements, sparing her a quick glance before turning away, as though his words were not a complete oddity - enough to inspire like, a late seventies David Bowie album. “What?”

“Uh - did you just hop through my window, say ‘hey we should date’ and then proceed to ‘what’ me as if this is all normal as shit!?”

Diego frowned only then, wagging his beer bottle at her as he swallowed his gulp. “Hey, no, I did not say ‘we should date’.”

“That’s basically what you just screamed into my previously peaceful apartment.”

“There’s a huge fuckin’ difference ‘tween what I said and ‘we should date’!”

“God, I really see why you’re single now. You have no twig of romance in your body, Hargreeves, and you also make absolutely no sense at all!”

“C’mon, Y/N I really don’t want to date you.”

And all she could say to that, after a brief moment of merely blinking, was, “well, shit, thanks?”

“Ah, c’mon - I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, nah, I mean I can’t say I’m terribly eager to hop on that relationship train with you, but you don’t have to be so harsh about it. I’ll have you know, I am somewhat of a catch.”

Diego sighed and leant his weight against the wall, cradling his beer in one hand and rubbing his face with the other. “It’s just a weird thing to talk about.”

“Hey, you’re the one who brought this up, not me.”

“You got somethin’ to eat?”

“Diego, focus please.”

He threw his hands up in defense, a half-smirk just barely dusting his features. “Sorry, it’s just - look, I’ll be straight.”

“Great, please do that so I don’t combust from all this confusion,” she shot back, sticking her tongue out at his rolled eyes.

“I need a favour from you. A big one, but you owe me, so…”

“Oh, I owe you now?”

“Yeah, don’t you remember last month?”

Her hands fell to her hips, mouth agape in frustrated surprise. “Last month, when I paid you back legit the next day? Stitching your ass up at four in the morning means nothing to you now?”

“Okay, fine, yeah - I know, I ask a lot, but this…I need this. An’ it’s not like I’ve got anyone else.”

“‘That makes me feel so much better.”

He fell off the wall and moved nearer, a pout on his full lips now. His hands moved to hers, bringing them up to his own chest. “C’mon. I’ll make it up to you however you want.”

Immediately, Y/N felt a smirk grow on her face. “Oh, anything?”

“Okay, I-”

“-suddenly, I’m so much more interested,” she giggled, tugging her hands away just so she could pinch his cheeks. Diego shuddered away with a glare, only leaving her laughing harder. “Alright, alright, dummy. What do you need me for this time? Lay it on me.”

“I need you to play my girlfriend.”

Her smile remained, but it was suddenly more strained, weaker and more fake. “Uh-huh. Okay. Um….so. Just…what does that mean, exactly?”

“I need to get my siblings off my ass. They don’t shut up about it, how lonely I apparently am-”

“-I mean, I am your only friend, sweetie-”

“-an’ they keep setting me up, actin’ like they’re gonna find me my future wife. It was fine at first,” he sighed, pausing to gulp down more of his beer. “I didn’t give a shit, but now I’m losing my mind. I’ve had enough of wasting nights pretending I give a damn about people’s jobs and hobbies - you know how many people in this city who think they can sing? Cause there’s way too many a’them out there.”

Y/N chewed her lip. “I see your point, really I do, but c’mon. This is a lot. Having me as your girlfriend? That’s a lot more than just like, nightly first aid sessions.”

“I know it’s a lot, but it’s not like it’s for real.”

“We’re gonna have to pretend it’s real.”

Diego rolled his eyes and sank into her couch. “It’s not as bad as you think. I’ve got a whole plan. I tell ‘em that I’m taken, that’ll entertain them a week until I bring up the fact that it’s you. After that, we go out a couple times, do one or two dinners, and then break up maybe two months later. Simple.”

“Okay, but I don’t wanna break up with you and have things weird,” she argued, crossing her arms against her chest. Maybe it was a protective move she did not even consciously make, an attempt to hide the fact her heart was pounding harder than she thought possible. For no understandable reason, this whole concept was making her nervous - and not just because of his plan. “I don’t wanna be kicked out of your and their lives because we ‘broke up’.”

“You won’t.”

“How?”

“We’ll say we tried and it didn’t work out, that we were better as friends.” Diego shrugged, as though he was merely suggesting they order a pizza. 

“Okay, sure. But do you really think we can seriously pull this off in front of them? I don’t know how we’re gonna look like n’act like a serious couple.”

The truth was, though, that they already were seen as one to the rest of the Hargreeves. And they both knew it. Every time they were remotely interacting, one of them made a sly comment, or brought up the fact that they would look ‘so cute together’. Klaus even questioned their defenses for a long while, asking if they were just together in secret and not saying anything about it. They were not, of course, but that did not stop the dysfunctional set of siblings from telling them they should get together.

In the eyes of the Hargreeves, Diego and Y/N were perfect for each other. They probably just had to look at one another to sell the idea - but neither one wanted to bring that up.

“We’ll practice. Work out a system. It’s not like we have to get married, we just gotta attend a couple dinners and parties and hold hands and shit.”

Y/N felt her lip sting, and absent-mindedly she touched at the area she had been picking at. Her finger came back spotted with red. “I don’t know, man. This is a lot. Even just a couple months - what if one of us finds somebody for real?”

“Well, then, we’ll call it quits early.”

“You sure?”

He nodded in fake seriousness, but the smirk on his lips told a different story. “Sure, if you find the love of your life in the two months we gotta do this, I’ll find you a way out.”

“Shut up,” she shot back, though she too grinned a little - it was no secret the pair had less than desirable love lives. “Don’t tease your girlfriend like that, maybe I’m sensitive.”

Just before he could give his own retort, his eyes widened in slight realisation. “Wait, for real”

“I mean…what do I have to lose?”

Diego immediately lifted off the couch and moved to her, pulling her in a tight hug not characteristic for him. She stiffened in the embrace, unsure what to do or where to put her hands. Luckily for her, the moment was over within seconds, with him pulling away and headed back into her tiny kitchen to toss his beer. She was able to breath and push away the panic that had set in with the unexpected touch, prepare herself for acting normal in the face of unknown territory.

Y/N followed him into the kitchen, pulling a beer out for herself and tossing a second one to him. “We have to make some rules, if we’re gonna do this right, though.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah. Like guidelines and shit. I know you have your so-called plan, but I’m only going to go through with this if we have a concrete system set in place.” She paused, frowning at his smile. “What?”

Diego shook his head, still grinning. “Nothing. You’re just such a teacher.”

Y/N just stuck her tongue out and turned away. “You’ll thank me for this later, if and when we get stuck in a double date with like, Allison or something.”

“Sure, sure.”

She set herself down on the couch and reached for her laptop. Diego made his way over and sank in beside her, watching as she pulled up a new word document. In big letters, Y/N typed out the title: ‘DIEGO AND Y/N’S FAKE RELATIONSHIP GUIDELINES’.

“Okay. First rule?” Her hands flew across the keyboard. “If at any point, I want out, I’m out.”

Diego nodded. “Sure. An’ vice versa.”

“Uh-huh. Alright. What else?”

“Uh…okay, we have to do a minimum of two family dinners.” The Hargreeves monthly get-togethers were already essential in both lives, a point where all siblings could reconnect under one roof again and pretend like they were a normal family. Y/N often showed up on request, but not for every one. Though that would change. “Fully committed to the relationship.”

She chewed her bottom lip as she typed, ignoring the faint metallic taste filling her mouth. It was far from the first thought in her mind, just then. “Great, fine. Should we consider behaviour? Like, what I have to do to pretend to be hopelessly in love with you?”

Diego chuckled beside her, a low rasp that made her heart twinge in a way she did not understand. “I guess the standard couple shit. Holding hands, hugs, uh-”

“-kissing?”

She heard him swallow beside her, clearly a nervous point, yet he managed to keep his voice steady. “Probably necessary.”

“Okay,” she drew out, “but like - to what extent?”

“Well, I’m not saying we have to have sex in front of them, if that’s what you mean.”

“Not at all what I’m saying, dumbass,” she retorted, slapping his leg lightly. “I just mean, what are we saying? Cheek, pecks?”

“Nothing too big. Probably the cheek is fine, headshots.”

“Headshots? What, are you’re gonna kill me with a smooch on the temple, man?”

He let out a soft ‘ha’. “I have been known to be deadly with my-”

“-you really don’t need to even bother with finishing that sentence,” she said with a smirk. Her fingers pounded the keyboard, carefully writing out her addition to the rule. “Um, I guess we don’t have to worry about our story, considering everyone already knows we’re close. What’s the situation we should say progressed us from friends to dating, though?”

Diego shrugged. “Somethin’ simple. I came over one day and you realised you just couldn’t resist my charm anymore, and had to confess your attraction to my-”

“-or,” she shot back, turning to look up at him, “you stopped by soaking wet-”

“-why would I soaking wet?”

“From the rain, don’t be gross. It was raining of course, and super late and you came by to profess your adoration for me and everything I do, begging me to take you even though I was far from in your league, that I was the prettiest girl in the world and you could never begin to tell me how much I mean to you.”

He laughed at that, but just slightly, his face reddened - though that could have been the light, Y/N mused. “Guess we’ll meet in the middle. We wanted to give it a try, and then we realised we were actually good together.”

“Sure. Just clean n’simple. Great.”

Still looking down at her through half-lidded eyes, Diego nodded. He wore a strange expression, one she could not quite read. “Works,” he mumbled back, softer than before.

Y/N tore her gaze from his and began to type again. She coughed to clear her throat, feeling a bit odd out of the blue. “Um, so, we’re probably gonna have to fake it for my sister, too. If she hears I’m with someone, even you, she’s gonna pull a whole interrogation scheme out.”

“Sure. Guess that’s fair.”

“You know she’s ruthless.”

“I can handle her.”

Y/N smiled softly. “You say that now, but…alright. Okay, so, dates, dinners, PDA, um…what are you gonna call me?”

“What d’you mean?”

She shifted on the couch so she could see him again - that time, less so right in his face. “You know, couple nicknames and what not.”

“Oh. Do we need that?”

“Well we don’t need it, but it’s probably better if we have some set up to sell the story a bit better. We don’t sound believable if I call my boyfriend ‘man’ n’shit.”

Diego stifled a yawn and swirled his bottle, watching the liquid splash within the bottle. “Okay. What do you want?”

“Nothing cheesy - if you call me honey, or something cheesy, I will punch you. Like princess n’ all that is a no go.”

He grinned. “How about precious? Angel?”

“Don’t you dare-”

“-I’m kiddin. I think I’d barf,” he said, still chuckling. “Let’s just leave that alone, I don’t think we need to worry about it.”

Y/N shrugged, glancing down to delete the rule. “Fine. But if you dare call me something garbage, I will leave you right then and there.”

“You have no faith in me,” he teased, nudging her with the bottle. She shivered, the cold sending chills down her spine. “C’mon, I think this is fine. We know each other, we’re adults, we know how to lie. I mean, I fooled you for six months into believin’ I was just wounded from boxing fights.”

She giggled at that. “Please. I knew a week into you showing up who you were. I’ve lived long enough in this city to know what was up. You’re not as good of a liar as you think - I don’t think you can keep a thing from me, honestly.”

Diego grinned and mumbled something at that, something she could not quite catch, but she let it go. “Fine. Whatever. The rules are fine.”

“Exactly.” She cleared her throat and adjusted the screen, ready to read them aloud. “Okay, here is the extensive list of guidelines for Diego and Y/N’s fake relationship, always subject to change or additions.

At any point, either person in the relationship can ask to leave and break off the arrangement, REGARDLESS of time and place. There must be a good reason.

PDA wise, hand holding, embraces, kisses to the cheek or head, respectable touches and actions are all fine.

Kissing is fine if the situation requires it, but only the necessary amounts.  
Stick with the story - we decided to try being a couple, went on a date and decided to go forward and now we’re together (subject to revision).  
A required two Hargreeves family dinners need to be completed in order to fulfill the relationship - not including any separate, smaller occasions that may arise. As well, there must be a meeting of Y/L/N’s sister in order to fulfill the agreement.  
A minimum of two months is required for the relationship (unless there is reason to withdraw, see first rule).  
No stupid cheesy couple pet names.  
No actually falling for the other person.  
At the last one, Diego frowned. “What is number six about?”

“Oh, come on, it’s not serious,” she grinned. “But you know how this shit goes. In rom-coms, they always fall for each other and things get messy.”

“This isn’t a movie.”

“No shit, Sherlock. But it’s funny and it’s just a stupid rule.” She paused to poke at him teasingly. “What, you looking to marry me after all this?”

He rolled his eyes. “I just mean it’s unnecessary, but fine.”

“Great. I’ll give you a copy of this, just to consult if you ever forget.”

“Thanks so much,” he shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that it, then?”

Y/N slammed her laptop down and in response, lifted her beer bottle to meet his. “I believe that makes it official…boyfriend.”

He laughed as the glass clinked. “Fantastic…girlfriend.”

“Jeez,” she grumbled, downing a swig before finishing the softly spoken thought. “That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

“Tell me about it.”

The two then fell into a funny silence, staring away from one another and sipping at their beers, both at a loss for words. It seemed as though just then, the situation had sunk in for the pair and they had no idea what to say to their now (albeit fake) partner. All they could do was stare at the ground and wall respectively and silently wonder, just what the hell they had gotten themselves into.


	2. don't call me baby.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klaus always knows how to make things a little bit more tense, even without meaning to (but no one can ever hate him for it).

FOR MOST, IT WOULD BE STRANGE TO SEE a teacher smiling as they went through a stack of to-be papers. Frowns, or grumblings were more common, only covered by a constant reaching for more coffee to keep them alert. But for Y/N and her creative writing class, it was nothing unusual. She largely favoured the course to teaching AP English, and most of the time enjoyed reading what the students came up with. The prompts were fun and the followup even better - no matter the spelling and grammar mistakes, the students were not without creativity. If she was being honest, it might just be the greatest opportunity a young teacher in her position could get. And she was not without appreciation for that.

The prompt that week perhaps made her marking job even more entertaining. She asked them to tell her about their childhood hero, and a large portion of the class had chosen to write about the infamous ‘Umbrella Academy’. Even if they were on the younger age and only saw the group in the later years, more than half of her students still fawned and gushed about the super-beings. The one in hand just then particularly favoured a certain Number Two - citing him as their first childhood crush, someone that their small self quite adored.

She snorted at their shy confession. If only they knew Diego like she did - maybe the mask and knives would not be so attractive when they were interrupting much needed sleep every night.

Just before she could turn to the next page, her phone lit up and she had to place the red pen down. The number was not recognised by her phone, but she hardly spared a thought on that, sighing before bringing the device to her ear. “Hello, Y/N Y/L/N here.”

“Well, don’t you sound professional.”

Speak of the devil. She fought back a smile. “You really have to get your own phone, you know.”

“Why, so you can get even more excited it’s me?”

“No. So I know not to answer.”

“Ouch. You’d say that to the love of your life?”

Y/N transferred the phone to her other ear, pressing it into her next and jaw as she fixed her piles. “Okay, hold on. Thought you were my fake boyfriend, not ‘the love of my life’. Did I miss that in our agreement?”

“Ain’t that the same thing?”

“No,” she shot back. There was no point elaborating, she knew he was joking - and yet for some reason, the casual question did sting a little. She quickly brushed the thought away, though, and continued. “Why are you calling me? I’m working.”

“I’m calling on your break, aren’t I?”

“Sure, but you’re interrupting my paper-grading.”

She could practically see the teasing smirk on his face, imagining him leaning against the telephone booth with the device pressed up to his ear. Trying to be stupidly suave. What she wouldn’t give to trip him up. “Sorry to interrupt that, I didn’t know you were having such a great time.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I-” she cut herself short as the door swung open. Her frown quickly shifted to a polite smile and Y/N gestured for the student to come in, motioning silently to her phone. She turned back with a lower voice and new sense of urgency. “Do you need something, Diego, or are you just calling to tease me?”

“C’mon, don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m about three seconds from hanging up-”

“-okay, sure. I do have a question.”

She shifted in her seat, sparing another glance to the waiting student just to make sure she was still there. The girl stood patiently - well, in the sense of trying her very best to pick up on just what the conversation was without being obvious. Y/N smiled a little at that.

“What is it, then?”

“They’re moving dinner to Sunday. Can you make that?”

Y/N did not have to rack her brain to know her answer. “Yeah, probably. I’ll have to bump all my plans around, but I guess I can make it work.”

“Oh, right. Cause you have so much going on.”

“Screw off, Diego, ‘else I might just be too busy to show up to dinner.”

He sobered up then, though he did force an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. Thanks.”

“Uh-huh. We can talk later about details but-” she shot another glance the girl’s way, gesturing she would just be one more minute, “-I have to actually go. Okay?”

He laughed softly into the phone. “Sure. See you, sweetheart.”

“Bye, loser - and don’t call me that!”

He hung up with nothing more as a response, leaving Y/N to sigh and slam the phone back down to her desk. She smiled apologetically at the teen. “Sorry about that, Trish.”

“Oh, no worries,” the girl grinned. The smile was sly - a look only a curious high schooler knew best. “Everything all good?”

“Oh, n…yes, yeah.” Guess she had to go along with the teasing remark - not that Trisha had been sent as a spy by the Hargreeves siblings, trying to test the validity of their very not real relationship. But it did not hurt to push the narrative. “Yeah, that’s just my…uh…boyfriend. Confirming plans, no big deal.”

Trish’s smile grew larger. “Sounds cute.”

How someone could sound cute, especially when she had not even heard him actually speak, Y/N could not say. But she just laughed it off, played the part she had dealt herself. “Yeah, he’s…great. But anyways, how can I help you?”

||

AT THE FIRST KNOCK, Y/N was throwing the door open, rubbing at her eyes so she could take in the situation properly. Her eyes flitted down Diego, scanning frantically for any wounds or issues that would need serious work, or just any sign in his face of what could be an urgent matter. There was no bloody giveaways on his clothes this time, though, and his face was warped into strangely, a stiff grin, instead of a look of pain.

“Well, at least you used the door this time,” she sighed, opening it wider so he could come in. She stiffened, though, as he moved closer than normally, brushing her into a one-armed hug before pulling away. Y/N’s mouth fell open to question the embrace, but fortunately her eyes fell on the answer before she could be made a fool. “Oh. Oh. Hi, Klaus…?”

“Long story,” Diego mumbled into her ear, disguising the whisper with a kiss to her temple. She tried to focus only on the word and not how the strange shiver shot down her back at his touch, no matter how she felt. “Picked him up, he wouldn’t leave me alone and I really didn’t want him wasted up somewhere bad.”

She only nodded in response and turned her arms to Klaus, wrapping him up in a hug. He felt warmer than he had the last time they hung out - a bit more meat seemed to be on his bones, too, though he was still a willowy, langly man. A somewhat sober nature did suit him.

“My darling Y/N - congratulations!”

“Congr-”

“-you managed to do the impossible - and oh! How happy I am to welcome you to our crazy family!”

Oh, right. That.

“I always had a feeling that there was something between the two of you, but I never knew that the day would come where you’d actually admit it..” Klaus’ arms slung easily around both Diego and Y/N, drawing them close to him with a ferocity neither expected. Their heads very nearly knocked together, before Diego could wriggle out of the hold. “My dear little Y/N, tying down this grumpy asshole.”

She laughed semi-nervously. “Guess that’s me, yeah.”

“You two always looked good together, so adorable,” he continued, letting them go without a second thought. Luckily, he missed her glare to her supposed boyfriend, as well as the mouthed apology, too wrapped up in his own thoughts. “And between all the pining looks and - well, I don’t think anyone should be surprised you two finally decided to bump uglies!”

If there was any water in her mouth, Y/N would have done a classic spit take right then and there. As it were, she could just choke on air and attempt to keep her exposure in the face of a bold-face lie. 

Fortunately, Diego was there to swoop in - somewhat. “I did not pick you up so you could badger Y/N about our sex life, Klaus. Say your shit or get out.” He sank into her couch and Y/N did not miss the flash of pain across his face - there was something wrong. She could already feel the frown of concern forming.

“You’re the one who forced me into your car.”

“Yeah, well,” he shot back through gritted teeth, “you were gonna get yourself killed, dumbass.”

“So now I can’t go anywhere without a babysitter, simply because of a slight issue in the past?”

“You are a recovering add-”

“-the details don’t matter, Diego,” Klaus muttered, only flinching the slightest bit under Diego’s withering stare. “And it’s not my fault everyone’s now so busy with their lives. I mean, you do really show up at the worst of times, just to bust me and not to catch up on all that quality ‘bro’ time we missed out on!”

Y/N gently pushed him forward and into a seat before moving onto Diego. She fished out the little aid kit kept under the kitchen sink and sank into the couch beside him. “Show me what’s wrong. And Klaus, what about Luther? Allison?”

“Both too far,” he whined back.

“Okay…stop squirming Di…uh, don’t you have Five?”

“Five can’t legally do anything except for like, drive. And even then, is he even old enough to have a license yet?” He paused for dramatics, only to sigh when neither gave much response. “I just worry for that boy, I can’t be the only one questioning this.”

“Vanya, then.”

Klaus shook his head once more. “I love the girl, but sometimes, a bit too dry for me. We don’t have the same tastes, and I’m afraid I might be tone-deaf. Severely so. Incurably so, darling.”

“Aw, Klaus.” She poked at Diego’s side, sticking her tongue out when he tried to push her away. “Shirt up, let me see how bad it is.”

He rolled his eyes. “S’barely a scratch. Let it be.”

“C’mon, I don’t want it getting infected, let me see!” She poked again, forcing him to lift the shirt up and reveal the nasty scratch. He still fought her hands away, even when she was obviously going to win the fight. She swatted his calloused fingers off, however, and inspected the wound despite his protests.

Diego was just about to shoot another insult her way, eyes a-flashing in that sly, tired way that only came out in the wee hours, when they were both cut off.

“Oh, don’t tell me I’m going to be interrupting a moment here?”

Immediately Y/N felt herself stiffen and everything feel a little bit colder. She could not lift her gaze from his wound, too anxious to look and see how Diego was reacting to the comment.

“I can leave, if that’s wanted? I understand the whole new couple thing, believe me. Been there, done that, and I’m always ready to try and start that over again tonight!”

She bit back a groan.

In all the fuss of getting them in and dealing with Diego, she had hardly spared a thought to the night ahead. Sure, she had realised it was going to be awkward every time a Hargreeve mentioned their ‘relationship’, but not like this - not where she would be left stammering, trying to defend herself to one of her closest friends. Not even defend, but…well, she was not sure what she was supposed to be trying to do. Aside from not combust from all the hot blood rushing straight to her face.

And all she had wanted was to sleep.

But there was no way she would kick either or both of them out, not in their states. Diego would end up staying anyways just like he always did, grumbling as she fussed over him - and she would not just kick Klaus out like that. She adored the both of them and had made a promise. 

So, Y/N sucked in a breath and forced a gentle smile. “You’re not interrupting anything, hush.”

“Oh, I don’t mi-”

“-you wanna stay a while, Klaus? I have a feeling Diego’s not gonna be moving, and I don’t want you wand’ring the streets alone in your state.”

Diego’s eyes immediately shot to her, but she ignored the pointed stare.

“Oh, I’d hate to intrude on your relaxation session. Truly, I’ll just go!”

Gross, Klaus, she mused to herself - the guy was injured, for hell’s sake. “Seriously, you’re not. Please, just stay. There’s plenty a’room and I had nothing going on, anyways.” Aside from sleep - but that had been thrown out the window the second the pair had shown up, anyways.

A smile broke out on Klaus’ face and he shot up, moving to awkwardly hug Diego’s shoulder - much to the man’s chagrin. “I don’t know how you managed to convince her to like a prick like you. She’s an angel - you’re an angel, Y/N really.”

“You’re too sweet, but seriously, I don’t mind the company,” she grinned, swatting Klaus’ hands away. Hers were pressed against Diego’s torso, trying to wipe away the blood already drying around the wound. It, luckily, was not too bad- though serious enough to need serious attention. “Make yourself comfortable, just please don’t touch the booze!”

As his brother’s laugh floated away, Diego groaned. “Can’t we kick him out?”

“The more the merrier,” she sang back, ignoring the glare shot her way. “C’mon, I promise I’ll make it up to you later, baby.”

Diego did not bother to even try and hide him flipping her off. If anything, he brandished the action proudly. She just grinned back, trying to fight back her beating heart and flushed cheeks. She just had to deal with this - it was what she agreed to and it was just them. She hung out with the two of them for years and years. The only difference now was that she and Diego were supposed to be ‘bumping uglies’, but she could deal with Klaus’ comments.

Right?

||

“YOU COULD TRY AND BE A LITTLE NICER,” she said, swatting at him with a towel. “He is your brother.”

Diego rolled his eyes. “He’s an asshole, is what he is.”

“Why, he interrupted our quote-on-quote ‘alone time’?”

“No,” he grumbled, “but I didn’t really come here to put on a show.”

Y/N wanted desperately to then ask, ‘well why did you come’, but the words just would not come out. Instead, she just shook her head and played along with ignoring the implication. “C’mon, dummy. Would you rather we kicked him out and left him to do…well, whatever Klaus does? That wouldn’t be good.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Y/N watched as he absent-mindedly stroked the silvery scar carved into his head, a motion she thought probably was not even intentional. “I know. I know. S’why I brought him here.”

“So…”

“…all I’m saying is, I didn’t expect to have ‘im here all night.”

She shot him a teasing smile before twisting away, reaching up towards her top cupboards. Her fingers grazed the wood but could not quite reach the glasses pushed to the far back. How had she reached them before? 

“If you wanted to just hang out with me, Diego, you could’a just said. I mean, I get it. I am irresistible and adorable in every which way.”

“I agree. You are super irritating and annoying.”

“Oh, wow, those are some big words!” Y/N gritted her teeth, stretching as far as she could forward to grab the glass - but ended up just sinking back to her toes with a sigh. “You been reading that dictionary I bought you?”

“You really just carry that teacher voice around wherever you go, don’t you,” he grinned. With ease, he reached up and brought down the glass she had been reaching for, earning a muttered ‘thanks’. “And for your information, I don’t even know where that thing is.”

“Liar.”

“Not kidding.” 

“You lost my heartfelt gift to you?”

“Nah, I probably used it as target practice.”

She rolled her eyes, even if he could not see her face when focused on her hands. She poured a little more than halfway, pausing before shrugging and bringing it up to her lips. Still turned away, she swallowed. “You’re maybe the most insufferable boyfriend I’ve ever had, you know.”

“Oh, come on. That can’t be true.”

“No, I mean that. I don’t normally date people who bicker with me and lose my hard thought-out gifts like that. Assholes like you.”

“Yeah? What about Ty?”

“What about him?”

“He was an asshole.”

Y/N shrugged and focused her gaze on the cupboards opposite her. Better that than his face, right then. “Sure he was. But I think he took care and kept the presents I gave him. I mean, ‘til shit hit the fan, but still. They were appreciated.”

“You’re really comparing me to one of the biggest dicks because I didn’t value your joke gift?”

At that, she chuckled and finally looked his way. One glass of wine down and her sense of smart humour was already fleeing fast. “Can’t compare what I don’t know, can I? Though, he, he was packing, I will tell you that.”

That did not even make much sense, but her messily dirty joke still took a jab his way. Immediately, Diego’s face fell into a look of disgust - though, funnily enough, his cheeks shone red in the dim kitchen light - and Y/N could not keep her laughter in. 

“Sorry, that didn’t even make any sense…”

“You’re gross,” he grinned back, shaking his head in fake disgust. “Don’t know what I see in you.”

She giggled mercilessly at him, ignoring his mumbles to keep quiet, caught up in the adorable face he made.

Wait, she interrupted, not adorable. Not in the adorable nature as - well, it was cute, but like in a little kid sort of way. Yeah. Was that a better way to look at it? She was not sure, but it still left her sobering up pretty quickly.

Her eyes fell down to the counter, tracing the swirls of wood before lifting once more. A low hum left her lips. “Nah, you’re right. He sucked. And you do too, don’t get me wrong, but not as much as Ty, or Todd. Or - pretty much all of them.”

“Well, I’m flattered.”

She grinned, but it was softer, weaker as she sipped her second glass. “Sure. Not like it’s much of a competition - I don’t think I have very good taste, sadly.”

“Sure you do,” Diego shot back, bending to pick out a bottle from the fridge. He leaned against the counter across from her, eyes slightly squinted as he took her in. “I mean, you’re dating me.”

“Ha, ha. This - this is a business arrangement, darling, not a relationship. And I didn’t even choose to be in this!”

“Well shit, tell me how you really feel, Y/L/N!”

“I mean nothin’ against you, ‘course,” she hummed. Why was she feeling awkward, all of a sudden? “It’s just not the same as actually having someone who genuinely cares about me - in the like, romantic sense.”

Diego nodded somewhat solemnly at that. “Mm. Sorry, I think?”

“Eh, don’t be. I agreed to this. And I still appreciate you, even if you aren’t interested in me past what benefits you.”

Her words were supposed to come out teasingly, a joke in the most bitter, light-hearted sense, but that was not the case. Instead, they came out all wobbly and unsure, like she had been biting them back but could not hold onto the feeling any longer. Which, was not really the case, she was not desperate for a hand to hold and certainly not from him - but she could not change the words said.

His eyes averted and hers softened, half from embarrassment and half unconsciously at the face he had pulled. She pulled away from the counter. “You still hungry? I can get you something.”

“Nah, I should - get him home.”

Y/N glanced back at Klaus’ silhouette, sound asleep and slightly snoring on the couch. “I think he’s okay, Diego.”

“Yeah, but it’s late. You’ve got work tomorrow and I got shit to get to.”

“Do you have to get to it?”

His smile was tired, like he was barely holding back a sad secret behind the pretty grin. Honestly, with a look like that? He was already half out the door and there was no point to arguing. “Who else is gonna keep this city from burnin’ down?”

She did not bother to argue with him - there was no point to giving him logical points, because he just deflected them all. Diego Hargreeves was a lot of things, but reasonable, he rarely could claim. At least not when it came to his own wellbeing.

Instead, Y/N just leant back and watched as Diego moved to his brother and in surprising tenderness, woke him up. It was rare to see him so gentle, but also a sign that made her smile - no matter what the man said, he truly loved his siblings. Especially Klaus.

“Hey, Diego?”

The man stopped, holding a half-asleep Klaus carefully upright in her doorway. She fought back the urge to smile at his lolling head. “Yeah?”

“Be safe.”

“Sure-”

“-no, I mean that,” she interrupted, “truly. You’re too reckless sometimes and it’s gonna get you killed.”

Diego grinned. “Aww. You gettin’ soft on me, Y/N?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, trying to will her face to not heat up at the accusation. “I’d just rather not have to pretend to cry at your funeral and play the grieving girlfriend role.”

“Ha. Love you too, baby.”

Y/N did not bother to throw any comeback after his retreating figure. She was too shaken by the way those four words had left his lips - sure, they were sarcastic, but they still sat heavy on her tongue as she silent repeated them. They made her feel weird, tingly in a sense she could not quite understand.

The door slammed shut, and she let her forehead fall after it, resting on the cool wind with fists at her side and questions swirling in her mind. Maybe she could do with another glass and miss out on attempting to sleep - not like she ever could after nights like this.

She sighed and made a mental note, one she knew she was going to forget in minutes, to yell at him about calling her baby again.


	3. it was an extreme circumstance! what was i supposed to do, let you decapitate your brother with a butter knife?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinners at the hargreeves house is always fun - but the added element of yours and diegos fake relationship? a party like never before.

NONE OF THIS WAS NECESSARILY ‘NEW’.

She had gone to the Hargreeves before, loads of times. Whether it was to babysit Klaus, or pick one of them up, or even attend one of their infamous family dinners, because for some reason they all seemed to like her. She probably knew the place inside and out, aside from the basement area - but no one really talked about that part. She was comfortable with all of them, even Luther, no matter how many stupid fights they had all gotten into. Often leading to her playing Diego’s hype man and saying the shit he could not say (and then feeling horribly guilty later, often finding some way to make up for it, because she was far from the hardened badass she played out to be). And, honestly?

She loved them all. They felt like a second family and despite everything they had been through, she continued to feel that way.

So, the fact that she actually felt nervous to the point of nauseous, attending the monthly get-together, was really saying something.

Y/N smoothed down the front of her dress and adjusted her stance in the mirror. She folded her hands in front of her and tried to look poised, put-together, like she had her shit together even if she was just about to shit her pants thinking about it. If she was going to pull this off and help Diego out, she could not appear nervous. At all. It had to be a normal thing. A comfortable thing. A sort of thing where she would smile and not immediately vomit from her raging anxiety whenever he did so much as refer to her as his ‘girlfriend’. Even if at that moment, for some reason that totally freaked her out.

“Come on, Y/N,” she muttered to herself, twisting her fingers to the point where the joints ached. “Get yourself together. You can do this.”

But, could she do this?

She loved the Hargreeves and had known them long enough to know them; their quirks, personalities, all the little things they did to get out of a situation, and their lying faces. She could read even Allison like an open book - which meant they could all do the same to her. There was probably no way to get anything past them, unless she truly devoted herself to the task. She had to let go of her insecurities and the worry of them finding out (and that strange little knot in her stomach that only pushed when she thought about Diego, now) and just focus on her role.

It was just dinner - Diego never liked to stay long anywhere, anyways. 

She jumped at the screech of the window, followed closely by his voice calling her name. She sighed, forcing back the edge of panic and let her calmer facade come on.

“Y/N?”

“In here.”

Y/N slumped to her bed, leaning back to wait for him to stumble in. When he did, she forced a smirk. “Look at you, looking like a respectable member of society.”

He rolled his eyes, as always expected, body slumped against the frame of her door. His eyes lingered on her face, a softer look melting away the normal stress wrinkles he wore so openly. “Could say the same for you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Diego nodded and held an arm out in offering, one she took eagerly as help for her heels. “You look good, Y/L/N.”

It was a simple compliment. And also, one she had gotten before. A thrown aside, often mutual, that did not mean much. But for some reason, her cheeks flushed pink and she had to fidget with her shoes a moment longer, eager to lose the blush before standing up again. She could barely bite out a ‘thanks’ in a normal tone - and it was that, that solidified her nerves even more.

Unfortunately, he read right through her mask. “What’s wrong? You nervous?”

“Nervous? What-no-I-” she stopped spluttering and sighed, giving up entirely. Her smile fell and was replaced with a watery grimace. “Is it that obvious?”

“Just a bit,” he grinned back. His hand remained on her arm, steadying her, even if she was good and standing already. “But s’fine. I’m not excited for this, either.”

She gasped dramatically. “Whoa, the great Diego Hargreeves, nervous? My word, my, my isn’t this something! Why, if I never!”

“I didn’t say I was nervous, and I didn’t tease you for being so scared, either.”

“I’m not scared, jackass.”

“S’that why your face is redder than a tomato?”

Immediately, Y/N ducked her head and shoved him away. “Shut up,” she grumbled. “Let’s just go before I lose my will and just send your siblings a picture of our divorce papers.”

He chuckled. “Divorce papers? Didn’t realise I even popped the question.”

“Oh, you did, and I regret it every day of my life.” She dropped the sarcastic veil for a moment to mumble a ‘thank you’ for him holding the door, only to snap back right after. “It’ll be hard to split up the children, but…we’ll make it work.”

“Kids? Shit, Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah, babe.” Y/N whirled around to grin through her queasiness, rubbing her belly exaggeratedly. “Twins.”

“I knew you were hiding somethin’ from me!”

Their laughter floated down the apartment hallway and out the lobby doors, light-hearted and teasing of the other - even while the both of them struggled with their own inwardly doubts. Insecurities and nervous thoughts neither dared to admit, though they threatened to surface with every passing moment. 

Both knew the dinner was going to be more than a walk in the park. Even if they dared not breathe that worry out loud to the other.

✮✮✮

“RULE NUMBER ONE.”

“Elbows off the table?”

“Y/N-”

“Chew with my mouth closed?”

“Y/N!”

“Riiight, stick to the story no matter what,” she groaned, though she wore a smile and not a grimace. Her hand twisted in his, squeezing for just a second before falling limp. “C’mon, Diego. We’ve been over this, and over this…and over this.”

Not even a hint of a smile. She sighed. “I know what I’m doing, you know what you’re doing, and we’re gonna knock this dead. Maybe even be out before eleven.”

His face still did not change, however, despite her teasing and smiles. It was composed in a stony blank stare, the sort that was a cover for any feelings underneath. She knew it well, as it was often the coverup during any sibling fights the seven got into - which happened quite a lot. She had to coax a smile out of him, sometimes a task harder than easier. But it was weird, knowing that this time, they were both walking into that delicate situation and she could not just giggle her way into a grin from him.

“It’ll be okay. I know the steps and I know your siblings. I know all the ways to get under their skins - like, if Allison gets too curious, I’ll just call up that shitty sketch show she did when she was getting started? I think I’ve memorized just about - what are you looking at?”

Diego had paused, causing Y/N to draw to a stop too, just before the door. He was staring forward, jaw slack, strangely just past her - or even at her, she really could not tell. He seemed almost frozen, until she waved her hand and repeated the question.

“Nothin,” he said, voice gruffer than before. He coughed and drew forward, hand tighter in hers. “Just - you’re always a fucking surprise.”

And before she could ask just what that meant, they were standing in front of the door, and said door was swinging open, leaving her to awkwardly smile and accept the cheery Allison Hargreeve’s invitation to come inside.

“Hey, Y/N,” she greeted first, wrapping the girl up in a tight hug before moving onto her brother. “Don’t you two look nice, wow!”

She fought an eye-roll at the comment and bit back any snide remarks, no matter how good they were. “Thanks, but I mean, c’mon - you look great. California’s really suiting you.”

Allison had been filming her latest flick, a star-studded thriller and had been away for just about seven months. And it was true, what she said; her skin glowed and the smile on her face did not look so fixed, rather genuine, actually. Things sometimes could get tense and often the woman’s face reflected the sticky state of her relationship with certain siblings, but it was clear that was not the case yet, tonight.

“Thanks, but let’s not focus on me,” she cooed back. Her hands wrapped around Y/N’s, then Diego’s, tugging with a wide grin. “You two! Holy crap – I mean, it was something we all hoped would happen, but – it happened!”

“Ha - yeah, that’s…it happened.”

“You two are so perfect for each other, seriously. I’m just happy my brother finally got a grip and asked you out!”

Y/N shot Diego a sharp look, pointedly raising her brows at the woman, as if to ask what to do with that sentence. Of course, he made his own point to ignore her completely. Asshole, she glared.

“Let’s head in, yeah?” She said, eager to cut Allison off before the evening could start. There was no way she was going to lose this battle before even making it to the living room. “Where’s Grace and everyone?”

“Oh, everyone but Luther’s here now, and Grace’s in the kitchen - she’s excited to see you both, though, too.” 

Okay, so there were two things that would somewhat balance out, at least. Luther and Diego would fight, without fail, just as they always did, but Grace was always a healing voice in his life, she’d hopefully keep him a bit calm. If he could be calm; it really felt like she was holding the arm of a ticking time bomb rather than a fake boyfriend. Just to be honest.

“Remember,” he gritted to her, lips brushing near her ear, “don’t mention anything.”

“Anything? At all?”

“You know what I mean.”

She drew past him and away from his arms, puckering her lips into a fake kiss as she followed his sister in. Diego followed close behind, but they both separated - him being tugged away by a seemingly desperate looking Klaus, her eyes immediately meeting with Vanya.

“Hey, Vanya,” she greeted, moving into a gentle embrace. It only lasted a moment, however, Y/N pulling away so she could study her friend’s face a bit closer.

It was obvious the trauma of past months still stuck with her, as it would anyone; worry lines and dark circles left gentle stains on the girl’s face, aging that seemed to happen so quickly. She still looked so tired, like sleep had escaped her for aeons and she had no clue how to earn it all back. But, Y/N mused, she did look better than before. Her smile was not so forced and she seemed to carry herself a bit more confidently - no more as scared to be in the Hargreeves hellhole of a mansion.

“How are you doing?”

“Good.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, a bit stronger that time. “Yeah, I’m good. Busy, with work n’all that, but busy’s…good,” Vanya finished, weakly shrugging. “Sorry. Does that make sense?”

“Perfect sense. I get it - keeps you going, keeps your mind occupied.” She sank into the sofa, comfortably close enough to Vanya while maintaining some distance. She did try her best remember the woman was still working through things and liked to keep some boundaries. “How’s all that then, with the orchestra? I can’t wait to see it, soon.”

She grinned at that, properly. “Don’t know, but hopefully…hopefully, things work out. But I - we don’t have to just talk about me.”

“Oh, no, I like to hear about this! It’s been too long, I feel like I’m missing out on your life.”

“I know but I mean, c’mon.” Her hand reached out to pat her knee, a gentle touch so rare for her. “I think - I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say here. Maybe congratulations?”

Y/N smiled gently. Her eyes flitted over to Diego, watching him talk for a brief second before turning her attention back to Vanya. “Uh, thanks…yeah, it’s definitely - it’s big. I don’t think even we were expecting it. But here we are.” Inwardly, she winced at her fumbling words. And the award for best actress goes to…

“How did you two…happen?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, shrugging back her nerves and fought for frozen composure. Her hands shook ever so slightly in her lap. “Oh, you know. It’s honestly not that great of a story, sort of blase.”

“Was he the one to ask you out?” There was an uncharacteristic sparkle in the woman’s eyes as she leant a bit closer, “I would never think he’d have the guts to actually do it.”

Y/N forced a laugh. “Well, I mean - somewhat, yeah. It was more of a mutual thing?”

Vanya frowned, raising a brow in question.

“He was just…over, it was late, and while I was cleaning up his wounds for the umpteenth time. We just got to talking about it somehow.” She looked back down to her lap. “We, uh, both decided to just throw logic out the window and give it a try, considering that everyone already thought we were together anyways. And, uh, here we are. Ha. Right?”

She probably had to work on that delivery, but Vanya at least took it all without a single question. Her smile grew and in a rare moment of affection, her arms clasped around Y/N tight. “I’m so happy for you,” she mumbled, drawing back almost as quickly as she moved in. “You two seem right together. Sorta always have.”

“Yeah…yeah, he’s great. Once you get past his grumpy exterior, he’s really quite the sweetheart.” Their eyes caught across the room, and without meaning to, Y/N smiled. Her head ducked away before she could lose her train of thought, leaving her to completely miss his shy grin back. “It just feels natural, y’know?”

Vanya nodded sagely. “I know what you mean. We all thought you two would have gotten together - everyone’s been saying it for years, but I don’t know if any of us thought it would actually happen.”

“Honestly? I didn’t think it’d happen either. But I’m…glad it did.”

“Good. M’glad you two have each other. You’ve always made him so happy, Y/N.”

She wanted to call Vanya out on that statement, ask just what that meant - but could she, really? Or was she supposed to take all the mysterious statements like that in hand and smile like she knew exactly what they meant? It was not like she could easily bring it up to Diego himself, without both of them feeling incredibly awkward. She guessed it was just supposed to chalk up to the same feelings the siblings had for Diego and her in general, the desire to get them together from the very start.

She just smiled the remark off. “It’s all still new, we’re just seein’ where this goes.”

“Right, of course.”

“Hey, darling,” a voice said from behind her. Y/N fought back the urge to snap at the pet name - which okay, was slightly better than the others, but she was not going to tell him that - and simply turned to look his way. He was smiling and holding a hand out to her, clearly waiting for her to take it. “Can you come help me in the kitchen?”

She smiled softly at Diego and rose. Her gaze shot back to Vanya, twisting to look more apologetic then happy. “I’m sorry to leave mid-con-”

“-it’s okay, no worries,” she said, waving a hand as though to pass the issue straight up. She took note that the woman never looked directly at Diego, just slightly past him - though she did smile his direction. “Congrats, you two.”

Diego merely nodded, making a sort of grunt noise in acknowledgement before gently taking Y/N’s hand and gesturing the way out. His hand moved to the small of her back, leading her forward into the kitchen where the ever-familiar blonde figure worked. Before she could ask why they had left the siblings (or why he had to slip a pet name in there again), Grace was turning around and her smile had to snap right back on.

“Mom, hi.”

Y/N remained back as Diego greeted his mother, watching as the two embrace. She could not help but soften her smile at the sight; despite her own anxiety, there was a sort of peace, existing between the two that made everything around her a little easier to deal with. He adored his mother, and had done everything he could for her. His love it was obvious even in the littlest of details. How he hugged her, smiled, even looked her way. She had seen him with such an expression before, she knew that, but could not place the place or person - just that it was rare to see him so at ease.

“It’s so nice to see you, Diego,” Grace cooed, resting a gentle hand on her ‘son’s’ cheek. She turned away from the man to smile at Y/N. “And Y/N! You look so beautiful tonight.”

“Thanks, Grace. As do you.”

The being mechanically nodded, just enough hesitation between each movement to show the still robotic features of the human-appearing woman. “Thank you, dear.”

“Uh, mom - I wanted to bring Y/N to you, for a reason.” Diego pulled away from his mother’s side to stand close to her once more, hand at her spine and nervous smile tugging at his lips. “I w-wanted to introduce her to you properly, now that we’re together.”

The next moments flash by so fast, she could not even say if they happened or if it was all just in her head. She could only remember his bashful smile and her red-lipped grin pressing into her temple, a warm voice wishing some sort of happiness and - well, truthfully, she had tuned out the second he had touched her lower back again. The moment he spoke, something had changed, and it no longer felt like a dangerous game played in jest.

She knew it was nothing, had to be so, but the way he said those two words. The smile that graced his lips - it did not feel the same as any other time they had mentioned their relationship. It felt real. Like she was a normal human being who was actually meeting a boyfriend’s mother for the first time, as though she was supposed to really feel nervous and shy but giddy to reach that milestone in their journey. Like it fucking meant something.

And that? That, was absolutely terrifying.

✮✮✮

THE REST OF THE NIGHT WENT BY IN A BLUR. She could hardly focus on a thing, chewing mechanically through food she did not taste and smiling when it was necessary in conversations she did not hear. Dinner at least was pretty simple and she could get away with this easily, though. Everyone had something to say and every topic drummed up at least twenty minutes of arguing - so much so that their relationship was barely mentioned. Sure, they got a couple sly looks and a few comments from Klaus - but the rest was a breeze.

Aside from her own troubling thoughts.

She turned her gaze upwards, meeting those of Vanya’s across the table. The woman was frowning, and mouthed ‘are you okay?’, with raised brows. All she could do was smile and nod ever so slightly in an attempt to cover her distraught. She did not seem to believe her, but there was nothing she could do about that.

Her eyes turned back to the rest of the siblings, sensing a lull in the conversation, and finally spoke up. “How’s Five, these days? Hasn’t he missed what, like four of these dinners?”

“Three,” Klaus shot out, absent-mindedly swirling the mocktail in his glass with a dismal look. “And really, I couldn’t say. He says we’re too dense to understand his work.”

“He’s trying to hone his abilities, figure out how far he can stretch them. I think right now, he’s working on something in the 60s, but that’s just a guess.”

Diego huffed. “He always had to be the overachiever.”

Across the table, Luther scoffed and set down his fork. “He’s using his powers for the greater good, at least that’s something.”

“What’s that?”

She could practically hear the eyes rolling. Everyone knew what was to come, because as far as she knew, it happened almost every time. Some stupid remark that either Luther or Diego made, that made the either overreact - two big egos clashing with one another constantly. They had done their best to make up, but it never was perfect.

“What are you doin’, huh big guy?” He had stood up at that point, clutching his butter knife like it could be a real weapon - though anything was, with Diego. “What good have you been cookin’ up?”

“We all do our part.”

“Don’t bullshit me here with vague…bullshit!”

The comeback was admittedly weak, but it was still enough to get the brother riled. Luther stood up, flames for eyes, and smashed his fist against the table. No one even flinched. “At least I’m doing something - you’re a criminal, Diego.”

“Ex,” he gritted back. She could practically see the anger building inside him, and yet he managed to keep a thin level of calm, fueling his snarky tone with the rage. “That’s in the past, unlike everything you build your life on now. How long has it been since ‘dad sent you to the moon’. Huh?”

Y/N rested a hand on his, but it was brushed off quickly. So was her hiss to ‘stop’, unfortunately. She sank back perturbed.

“I’m doing important work, unlike you!”

“Unlike me - I save lives, Luther. Every single goddamn night. Putting what Dad did to us to good use. You-you sit on your ape ass and pine after Allison-”

“-dude, that argument is so old,” butted in Allison herself. “Please pick a new one.” She pounded against Y/N’s extended fist with a grim smile, accenting the point. “Also, you’re both embarrassing yourselves.”

She nodded, once more pulling at his arm - that time more successfully. “Please just sit down…baby.” It felt weird to add that on, but also odd not to. Like she needed that accent for a truly strong statement.

What mattered, though, was that it worked. His gaze turned to her with wide eyes as though surprised at her words - probably because ‘baby’ had never left her lips earnestly before. He sank back down and loosened his grip on the knife as requested, though the grimace did not budge.

Y/N smiled softly and moved to talk, but was cut off quickly by Luther, who was still teeming. “So just because of her, you want to be civilized?”

“Luther-”

“-be grateful, Spaceboy.” A wry grin tickled his lips, though he was anything but jovial. “I could still run this knife straight through your thick skull if you say one more thing.”

“I’m not scared of you.”

“You should be.”

“And why’s that?” Luther pushed, almost as though he was eager to press all of Diego’s buttons. Like he wanted a show. “Why should I be scared of you, number two?”

“Don’t act like you’re above us all now,” he gritted back, glaring so hard she feared Luther might turn straight to stone. “I could still gut you like a fish, if I wanted.”

“And would your girlfriend want that?”

Y/N watched as his grip tightened on the knife, so tight his fingers were paling by the second. 

“Don’t fucking talk about her.”

She could almost read his mind; sense his next move. And whatever it was, it was not going to end in a good time. Fights with them only escalated until one of them were forced to step down - and it was never through just words. The two were too careless and competitive to just let the other claim victory. Luther got too riled to quickly, and Diego never knew when to stop. Maybe just the worst combinations of personalities put into one room, again and again.

But at that time, she refused to have the night ruined, or to go home upset. That time, was going to be different, and the Hargreeves family dinner could maybe have at least one smile leaving the table. She was not there for nothing.

“Diego, just step down.”

“I-”

-before he could finish his thought, or before anyone could comprehend what was going on, Y/N was moving forward. She tugged his face to her and without a grain of thought, pressed her lips to his. It was rough and she almost winced when their faces collided, but still she continued, doing her best to sell the illusion against a frozen Diego. Her hand slid to cup his cheek, subtly covering their mouths just enough to pull back. With eyes shut tight and lips barely apart from his, she spoke, “shut the fuck up, or I’m walking right now”, before closing the distance once more.

It was weird. In a lot of ways. She had not really thought hard about their first actual kiss, but had not imagined it in front of all his siblings at the dinner table as they all shouted and hollered at the sight. She also had not imagined - well, truly, Y/N could not have expected any part of the outcome. The immediate thought to just kiss him, then him frozen in complete shock, before melting in to her touch, presumably to sell the act. She had to admit, he was far from a bad kisser, lips moving surprisingly-

“-are we ready for dessert?”

When had Grace even left? Y/N had not seen her move from her chair, though she supposed in the chaos, that was not too shocking. The second her voice floated through the air, however, she pulled away from Diego and sank back into her seat with new energy. Cheeks hot and lips just the slightest bit swollen, she ducked her head, not eager to see the faces of those around her.

Especially not his.

“I don’t know about you guys,” Klaus said, eager to fuel her shame further, “but I definitely could eat. How about you, Diego, are you still hungry, or are you-” he cut himself off with a loud yelp.

She did not look up, but no one could mistake the whizzing of the butter knife and Klaus’ shout of surprise, narrowly avoiding the serrated edge going straight into his jugular. In normal circumstances, she would laugh her ass off at the sight, probably berate Diego even through her giggles - but all she could do was bite back the urge to run very far away, away from the disaster situation just created around her. BY her.

Y/N sighed and clutched her fingers a little bit tighter. So much for quick and easy.

✮✮✮

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”

“What the hell was what?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Y/N stormed right past him, eager to find her way out of that house’s vicinity. However, just as she thought she was free, he caught her arm and pulled her back.

“Let me leave,” she mumbled, freeing herself and resuming her walk. Her frown only grew as she heard him follow. “Okay? We did dinner, great, bye now.”

“You kissed me.”

“I panicked!”

He chuckled grimly behind her. “You panicked - Y/N, that was a full on makeout in front of my entire family!”

“Well…Five wasn’t there. And Ben’s not fully here, does he count?”

“Not the point!”

She rolled her eyes and walked faster - though it was pointless, he always kept up. Screw him and his super human self. “I did what I had to do before one of you went too far. I’m sorry, I just - I panicked, and you weren’t listening to me!”

“I was.”

“You were not! An’ you were about to cut Luther’s head in two right then and there. I thought that in case of emergency - I had to do something, before dinner turned into a bloodbath.”

She had finally stopped then, clutching her thin jacket around her body as she shivered. He stood in front of her, fists in his pockets with a strange look in his eyes - unreadable, just as before.

“Sure,” he finally said, slowly. “I just didn’t think that was when we were going to…you know.”

Y/N shrugged. “It was bound to happen eventually. We both knew that.” 

“At our first couples outing?”

“Again, might I mention the decapitation act nearly committed?”

He half grinned at that, though his eyes remained stormy. There was something up, not necessarily with the kiss - more than that, though she could not figure out what. “Not a great excuse.”

“Saving you from prison time isn’t a great excuse?”

“No, I think…you were just that eager to kiss me.”

“Sure, if you mean so we could both walk out of there alive, yeah. I was down to kiss you - for the sake of that, only.”

“You were eager to have the chance, don’t kid yourself.”

She rolled her eyes and took a step back, distancing herself even more. Suddenly, even in the late autumn chill she felt hot, flashes of heat running up and down her body like her embarrassment decided to throw a rave without permission. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, toing the ground with her boot. “I didn’t want to make out with you in front of your family.”

Diego shrugged, a slyer smile building on his lips. “M’sure they enjoyed the show.”

“Gross.”

“I mean, you really went for it-”

“-stop, stop,” she begged, head in her hands. She could hear his laughter, feel it floating around her, but at least she could eliminate the sight of his smirk from the torture. “I get it. Okay? Can we forget about and just get outta here?”

“I don’t think anybody’s gonna be forgetting that anytime soon.” He mumbled something after that, but it was too low for her to catch. Diego stepped close to her, grabbing her arms so as to tug them away from her face, and pulled her forward. “C’mon. Let’s go.”  
✮✮✮

SHE COULD NOT SLEEP. Try as she did, Y/N’s eyes would just not shut; sleep had escaped her, this time all because of herself. Her brain would not turn off and the thoughts that she had ignored the day before were haunting her awake during the night.

She could not forget the kiss. It was stupid and meaningless and yet like a broken record player, it just kept going and going, over and over in her mind until she could knew it too well. Just as it would leave her mind, she would shut her eyes and it would be back - his lips on hers, his stubble pressed into her hand, jaw clenched, his own fingers pressed ever so lightly against her waist -

-Y/N sprung up and stormed out of her bedroom. Aimlessly she walked, pacing her apartment in nary but sleep shorts and one of his own black sweaters, left behind on one of his wounded nights. It was driving her mad. Really, truly, crazy. Just one kiss and she was plain-out insane. Amazing.

She could blame it on the moment, the rush of it all - or even the nerves that had been building from the very start of the evening. She was stressed and it all happened so fast and all she had wanted was for him to shut up before he got hurt…and maybe that was why she was so invested in the embrace. A great deal had been poured into the kiss, and her brain confused that with actual romantic feelings for the guy.

Y/N scoffed and pulled the shirt tighter around her shivering body. She was playing herself, and there was not even a way out. She could not turn her brain off, and definitely there was no way she would tell Diego anything. To admit she was still fixated on a heat-of-the-moment solution - not even a kiss, merely a solution - would be a huge mistake and one she refused to fall for. Besides, she grumbled, what was he to do? He had probably forgotten all about it at that point.

This was all so very, very stupid. And even worse? Very, very, very confusing, emotionally.

She should never have agreed to this fake relationship in the first place.


	4. and so, the truth starts to come out (just a little).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone starts to realise that what she’s feeling is a little more than just nerves about this fake relationship - that she might be a bit more invested than she ever would have thought.

SHE EAGERLY ACCEPTED THE CUP, only to hissing and hurry to place it down. However, she waved off Vanya’s immediate ‘I’m sorry’s’ with a sheepish grin. “It’s fine, I’m good. See?” She waved her slightly reddened fingers to prove her point - which the girl did not really buy, but at least seemed somewhat mollified.

After daring to test another sip - and regretting it immediately after - Y/N turned her attention back to the other woman, sitting across from her. They were around the same height, and yet every time Vanya always looked so much smaller, like a child in an adult’s body who’s too lost in this cruel world to properly function yet.

Far too apt for a vague thought, she bitterly rebutted herself.

“Sorry for stopping by like this,” she started, readjusting herself against the couch cushions. “I just wanted to pass on my well wishes and I saw the posters for the orchestra, figured I should pass on the good will in person.”

Vanya smiled softly. “It’s no problem. And thanks, yeah…yeah, the kids have been working hard.”

By the kids, she meant a small collection of junior students who she had begun to teach after the apocalypse situation. She still nursed a myriad of trauma around performing herself, but she had been encouraged (by both Y/N and her therapist, as well as her siblings when they were about) to not give up on something she loved. And so, she took up teaching again, but went about it with the hopes of creating a mini group of performers of her own. Y/N could tell it was not the same as performing herself, but at least it was something. As she worked on both herself and her strange abilities, it would be enough.

“I hope I can still crash the party? I don’t know much about classical music, but I have gotten quite good at pretending like I know more than I do. Diego’s nonsense helps with that.”

The other girl’s smile bloomed a little, at that. “Is he playing plus one to that, too?”

“Huh - oh, yeah, well…I don’t know,” she stuttered, stumbling over every word like it was from a whole new language. “Haven’t asked, but you know, no matter what the guy says he likes kids. Maybe he can uh, put…put the knives away for the night. Or something.”

“He doesn’t have to-”

“-no, of course he’d-”

“-it’s not his scene, and he’s a busy guy,” Vanya rushed, “you don’t have to feel bad. It was just a joke.”

Normally, Y/N would know that. In fact, she would be so quick to catch any joyful points in their conversations that she would overplay her reactions, laugh a bit too hard and like, slap her knee or something stupid like that. But that time, the reference had gone right over her head and then slapped her right in the back, enough to make her fall over and collapse. She was doing her best to get up and rebuild that hole in her wall again, but it was difficult and she could feel herself coming undone by every passing second.

As if sensing her panic - or maybe just seeing it as it was displayed on her face - Vanya moved forward and gently touched her hand. “I didn’t mean to start anything, or - or say something wrong.”

“Oh. No. NO, you did nothing wrong.”

“But-”

“-sorry, I just lost my train of thought and along with it went my brain, I guess.” Y/N was back to smiling, but it was fake as shit and both of them knew it. “What were we talking about?”

“Hey…is ev-what’s wrong, Y/N?”

She knew Vanya was only trying to be nice - and genuinely nice, as sign by her changing the bland ‘are you okay’ to a real question. She also knew that she had dug herself into a really, really deep hole and it was going to take a whole shit tonne of climbing to get out of it. And this time, she was not sure a smack on the lips was going to solve the issue.

“Would you believe me if I say I’m all good?” Y/N tried weakly, only to sign and slump into the couch when her head shook no. “Alright. Uh…you got anything stronger than coffee? This is a douzy.”

“I think I can handle it. Considering…everything.”

She laughed bitterly from between her friend’s couch cushions, then attempting to smother herself between them. It did not work, but it was nice to hide her face for a quick moment. “This might just be more surprising then everything else, Vannie…believe me.”

Vanya came back quickly with the glasses, and Y/N hesitated none to gulp the drink down regardless of the burn. After that, she struggled through the entire story, the ups and downs and even the stupid little anecdotes shared between her and Diego just to make it seem a bit funnier than it was - like it was just a fun game and not her love life being through around and about like nuts. But honestly recounting it back just made it sound even more dismal and humiliating and plain-out weirder. More than it already was to her.

Vanya was silent throughout it all, simply nodding along and letting her speak without pause. She supposed that was a good thing, she was grateful there was no need to stop - mostly because if she did, she might just never speak again.

Y/N finished it off with a sigh and a wry smile, raising her glass to her lips in an attempt to get the last drops out, sans manners and any grace. “That’s that,” she grumbled. “That’s…that’s that.”

And all Vanya said to that, was a quiet, monotone, rather emotionless, “oh.”

Y/N blinked, surprised. “Oh? That’s it?”

“Well - I don’t - I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh.”

“It’s just unexpected,” she offered up. When the only response was a quirk of her eyebrows, Vanya moved to explain. “I just thought…you two really had just gone for it. Like we had always teased you two about.”

Her cheeks bloomed with colour, forcing Y/N to duck her head and hide the flush. Not that it did much good, the splotchy red was much too eager to show her embarrassment then appease her. “No. ‘Fraid not. We’re just friends…who are now pretending to be sleeping with each other.”

“But why?”

She shrugged haplessly. “He wanted a break from everyone dogging him about being single, I guess…and I didn’t have anything better to do. I figure do ‘im a favour, he does one back, we’re even - except I didn’t really think it’d be this…big.” As in, she did not imagine kissing him. In front of his entire family, sans Five and their dear old dead daddy.

And also, actually fucking enjoying it.

“And technically, we’re not supposed to say a word to anyone, it’s on the list - but man, I just, I just need to talk to someone about this.” She gratefully accepted the second drink, swallowing it down in three hearty gulps. “I feel like I’m drowning.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I mean, I agreed to this, right? And it’s my fault for thinking this could be a walk in the park. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought. I guess I didn’t.”

Vanya smiled a little at that, and finally moved, walking around her coffee table to take a seat beside Y/N. She took the other’s hand in hers, squeezing ever so lightly. “It’ll be okay. It’s only a couple months, right?”

“I guess, but I feel like I’m already screwing it all up. I mean, it’s been like a week and a half? And I’ve already made a fool in front of everyone, and kissed him - and then blurted out the secret to someone! I mean, I might as well propose to him and then tell him our entire friendship is a lie, too!”

Despite herself, Vanya grinned, finding the humour in Y/N’s words, despite the panic on her face. She squeezed her hand a little tighter. “You’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that, though?”

“Because,” she replied slowly, “you told someone, but just one. And I’m not going to say a word to him. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“…and you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, really. You guys were cute. And everyone believed it, mostly because they’ve all secretly wanted you two to get together for years. I mean, since the moment they first heard your name leave Diego’s lips, Allison was making wedding invitations and Klaus was coming up with the worst moments to drop hints about you. I’m surprised you never caught them,” Vanya finished, lip curling a little at the memories.

Y/N knew enough about the siblings’ thoughts about her and Diego. It was unavoidable and for the most part she was fine with them conspiring. It was only when the mention of Diego came up, when one of them said something alluding to the fact that maybe he talked about her a little more than mere friends…that maybe there was a whole lot she did not know about.

Just as she was going to ask Vanya what she was referring to, the other girl cut her off. “And the kiss, like you said it was nothing. You had to do it, and it didn’t mean anything. So you’re still okay.”

And at that, she felt all the blood that had flooded her face drain right out, leaving her pale and panicked next to her close friend. And just like before, there was no hiding her expression or the plain out anxiety attack raging underneath her skin.

It did not take a wizard, to figure out what had caused it.

“Oh, Y/N-”

“-I don’t know, it just-”

“-Y/N…”

Y/N slumped back and covered her face with the cushion, groaning loudly into the fabric. “Shit.”

✮✮✮

WHEN HE CAME BY THAT NIGHT, she was cold. 

Polite, and caring as always - but cold in her actions, in her few-word replies, in the way she shied away from any near-touch possibly laid upon her skin.

It was not intentional, at least not at the start. She was a mess most of the afternoon and early evening, but then as the sun fell and the hours crept away faster and faster, she felt herself close off. Even from herself. Like she had rebuilt that wall but it had been built too high and too close, so everything was left out of her heart. Not enough so it could not hurt, not so she could not feel waves of guilt every time she did something stand-offish - but enough to make it continue.

She knew he felt it too, but neither said a thing on it. For that, she was grateful. It was easier to move in silence then have to stop and think about the storm in her head. Mostly? Because if she did let her guard down maybe even a second, she might collapse entirely. And no one could have that.

“Here. Take these.”

His only response was a grunt and a nod, fingers barely brushing hers to take the small pills. She pushed back her worries and maintained the same blank expression, watching as he dry-swallowed the Advil. When he was done, she pushed off the coffee table.

“Need anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay. Shower, there’s some of your shit in the dryer now you can change into. Come in when you’re done.”

“I’ll just-”

“-you’re not goin’ anywhere,” she barked. For a moment, she softened, considering a sweeter tone and more reason than shouting orders. But quickly that idea shrivelled up. “It’s late. You need rest. You’re already here anyways.”

“I’m not-”

“-Diego, please.”

He finally left the couch. She heard him moving behind her, but dared not turn to look his way. Instead, her eyes remained train forward, frozen on the window he had come through Watching, tracing the frame, paralysed in replaying all the instances in which she had stood there before. 

“What did I do?”

Her eyes clenched shut, squeezing with all her might; gone was the window, replaced only by darkness. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” A slight pause, then: “sorry.”

“There’s more than that, isn’t there?” Slow, stumbling steps in the shallow dark walked her way. They remained a distance away - and yet she felt like he was right there. “I did something.”

“No.”

“Bullshit. You’re upset - at me.” There was bitter humour in his voice then. “I’ve known you too long to believe any of your lies.”

When Y/N opened her eyes again, they watered and struggled to even make out the shadows, finding the night still pressing into her skull. Digging its claws in, trying to wrench out all her fears and emotions and the shit she had buried deep deep deep within. Offer up her heart on a silver platter and leave her dead in the process.

She smiled ever so slightly. In the words of Cher fucking Horowitz, ‘as if’. No weepy confessions to be made that night.

Instead, she turned and made her lips turn up more, into a more believable grin. “I’m sorry. It’s been - it’s been a long week, feels like everything’s hitting me. I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

“I-I know-”

“-it’s okay,” she murmured, voice hitching at his slight stutter. “It’s fine. Seriously, Diego, I just need to sleep this off. And uh, so do you.”

Diego sighed, hesitating as he thought over his words before pushing forward. “Why do you put up with me, do all this?”

“I’m not doing much.”

“You should be sleeping.”

“Sleep is overrated, you and I both know that.”

“Come on.”

“I’m being serious!”

“You’re exhausted, Y/N.”

She shrugged lightly. “Maybe. But I’d rather sacrifice an hour or two if - if it means I know you’re alright.”

Those words not the words that she had originally planned on saying. But they came out anyways, and hung heavily in the air, a wall of tension that left both sides unsure of what came next.

Before he could try and pry, ask about those softly spoken words, about the way her voice cracked a little at the end, she spoke. “I’m your girlfriend, Diego, can you blame me for caring about you getting home safe or not? I mean, I can’t have the love of my life dead in a fuckin’ alley somewhere.”

At that, she just smiled and turned, hurrying off to her room. She heard him speak, but it was too soft to pick up, and so she discarded it with the rest of the conversation. Just let herself sink into the blankets once more and shut her eyes, begging for sleep even when her brain was more awake than ever. Like she could sleep, after this. She never did.

Y/N listened instead as he moved around, shuffling into the bathroom and starting up the shower. He was brief, only a few moments before the water turned off and he was back to quietly rustling around. Soon enough, maybe ten minutes or so and he was in the doorway of her bedroom.

She shut her eyes and pretended to be already asleep, just as she always did. Let him feel safe within the darkness, moving to the other side and slipping under the covers. He laid still and at the edge, as always, still as anything so as not to overstep any boundaries. Sometimes, she smiled at that - other times, she longed for him to roll over and move close to her, put his arms around her and-

-with a start, Y/N realised that the silence had been broken by him. He had sighed, followed by a soft sniffle. She dared not move even a muscle, frozen against her pillow as Diego groaned once more and adjusted his pillow. 

And just when she thought it was over, he spoke. Just three words, soft as a breath. If it were not for the heavy silence, she would not have caught it, but he might as well had shouted it in that instant.

“You fucking idiot.”

Y/N dared to breathe, soft and slow, attempting to play asleep. But even if she wasn’t pulling it off, she was not sure if he even heard, so wrapped up in his own thoughts. 

Not for the first time, she longed to roll over and touch him, reassure him she was there with him. Ask what was on his mind, and if their thoughts paralleled in any way or form. But like always, they remained on opposite ends, too eager to maintain a friendship to overstep. She remained still and staring out into the darkness, listening to her exhales matching with his own shallow breaths.

Neither of them would sleep much, that night.


	5. dinner and a show.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which, two dumbasses both struggling with the same emotional dilemma force themselves to continue their silly little game without acknowledging what’s really going on in their minds (or something like that).

THANK GOD FOR HER SISTER’S WINE CELLAR.

Sure, she had mocked her silently plenty-a-time for it, believing it truly a waste of aesthetic space considering how little her sister drank - but Y/N was really singing its praises that night. Quite possibly, the best thing her sister had ever done.

“He’ll be here,” she promised, wincing as the red liquid slipped down her throat. “He’s just running late at work.”

That was complete bullshit. Really, she had no clue where the guy was - all she had gotten from Diego that day was a call two hours before heading over, a rushed conversation telling her he might be late and that she should go there on her own. Reassuring. But she could not explain to her sister that, no matter what the woman knew about the two of them. 

Weren’t couples dinners supposed to be light-hearted, not, ‘my fake-boyfriend might be doing something super dangerous and stupid and I will have no clue until the hospital calls me because I’m still his emergency contact, even after bitchin’ and bitchin’ at him to change it’? She was not totally sure, but had a feeling that was not a good thing to mention over drinks with her way-too-eager-to-judge sister. 

“He’s still coming, right?” the woman asked, a twinkle in her eye. “I mean, this isn’t just a joke on me, you do have a boyfriend?”

“Don’t be funny. He’s coming.”

“Good. I’m glad. And I mean that - I was worried about you, for a little bit.”

Y/N frowned. “Mm. Worried?”

“Sure,” her sister shrugged. Her tone was light-hearted, but there was a hint of malice behind it - because there always had to be, with her. “It’s been a while since the last guy…and I was just you know, worried that you just made the guy up to shut me up. Which is why I insisted on this little meeting happening sooner than later, so you couldn’t just pretend a guy up.”

She was not one for dramatics, but she was really close to throwing a glass, at that. Sure, her love life had been a tried and troubled tale, but it was not as bad as the woman made it out to be. Just because she did not run everyone past her sister, does not mean they did not exist. And okay, sure, they all turned out to be dicks and liars, but that did not mean - 

Y/N sighed, letting her shoulders slump down and give up a little bit of the weight resting on them. Letting herself get riled up too early would be her downfall. So instead, she pretended to find it funny, letting a mirthless laugh slip through gritted teeth. “Yeah. Guess so. But uh…Diego’s good.”

“Mm. Well, I’m glad.” Her sister downed another sip of her water (she had referenced several times that she could not have alcohol - even though Y/N knew that, dammit). “How long have you two been actually together?”

“Um…couple we-months. Maybe two months.” That might be the wrong number. Shit. “Not too long.” 

“Really? It always seemed like you two were, you know…” she gestured lamely with her hands, “you weren’t - you know - on the low?”

Y/N was about ready to chase Diego down herself, from pure irritation. “No.”

“No?”

“Just friends,” she shot back. “Like I told you, the relationship part’s a very new thing.”

Just before her sister could ask one more time something sort of totally invasive that made Y/N question her every decision, the doorbell rang. It seemed just maybe, her mumbled prayers (or veiled threats) for Diego to finally show his face, had been greeted by a miracle. 

Y/N sprang to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, but-”

“-right back,” she repeated, already turning and walk-running to the foyer. Her eagerness for some relief had quickly beaten out her annoyance for him being so late, and she found herself smoothing her top, biting back a grin that was not yet deserved of him. She carefully swung the door open, catching the man on the other side mid-knock.

“You’re late.”

Diego shrugged, looking slightly sheepish as he offered up his hand full of…flowers? 

Not what she had been expecting. 

“Got held up. Would you believe it was just for these?”

“Uh…no - but why do you have them?”

“Knew I’d be late,” he explained, brushing past and into the home. His eyes left hers to trace the room, taking in the bright decor and sounds of laughter in the back. She could practically see the anxiety building behind his dark eyes, but he easily covered it with a short chuckle. “But, explaining to your sister what I was actually doing didn’t seem right. Flowers were an easy out.”

Y/N ignored the humourous adlib, seizing upon his other words, instead. “What exactly were you doing? Are you alright?”

“I’m good. Trust me,” he added, seeing the look on her face. He bared his teeth in a smile that more resembled a grimace.” You should see the other guys.”

“Dumbass,” she grumbled, even through a half-smile. She traced her hands over his face and upper torso, prodding to see if there was any pain - only to be swatted away seconds later. “Are you hurt?”

Diego just shrugged. “M’fine.”

“Diego-”

“-if we stay here workin’ out the details, your sister’s going to come around the corner thinking we’re bumpin’ uglies right on her weird doormat,” he hissed, once more pulling her hands from him. “If that’s what you want to go with, sure, but…”

She felt her face grow hot and inwardly cringed. Her head ducked down, an attempt to disguise any redness in her cheeks and she gestured forward. “Fine. Lead the way, Casanova.”

He just grinned and poked a calloused finger at her reddened cheeks, mumbling a ‘cute’ before making a beeline forward. Y/N was left open-mouthed in the hall. But with no time to consider yet another odd remark, she pushed ahead too, forcing herself to smile at the pair. One, already looking so much more uncomfortable than the other.

“Isn’t that sweet?” Y/N simpered, swallowing the bile brought up at the stupid, fake words. “I mean, you’ve known this idiot for years n’ years and yet he still shows up with flowers and all that.”

Diego shuffled back and threw an arm around her shoulders. He looked towards her, but strangely not really at her; like he was somewhere else completely. “Aren’t flowers a necessity for meeting a girl’s family?”

“Maybe if it was with her uptight parents,” her sister butted in, smiling like she was the goddamn Cheshire Cat, “but you know what? I’ll take these gratefully, necessary or not. They’re beautiful, Diego.”

Y/N smiled a little more at that. A little bit more genuinely. There was something nice, seeing two people she truly cared about interacting. Sure, her sister had known Diego for ages, after meeting him one night, post shitty fight - and post climbing through her window, blood dripping from almost every part of his body. But apart from brief interactions when one or the other was not in the right state of mind (booze or injuries or otherwise) they really did not exist in one another’s worlds. And sure, her sister was mostly a malicious, passive-aggressive asshole who somehow had grown up to be a copy of her mother even after hating her for most of her childhood, and probably was going to call Y/N later and make up so much shit on Diego. Just to be a dick.

And sure, this was all fake. But it was a little fun, pretending like she was actually taking a real boyfriend back to meet someone.

Maybe she needed to drink a little more, because that fantasy needed to drown. A-S-A-P.

“…wanted to be here,” floated through her thoughts. Y/N shook her head and drew herself back to reality, where her sister was discussing - what was she discussing? “But you know, guy’s been working overtime to cushion out the accounts. He’s eyeing a Christmas vacation, you know?”

Right. Andy, her husband. Her actual husband who genuinely loved her - and what was she supposed to do there? Shit. Right. 

She forced herself to nod. “That’s sweet. Where are you two looking?”

The woman shrugged and looked back down to the pot she was stirring. “No clue yet. Somewhere warm, though. I don’t want to deal with the snow, and-” she paused to pat her protruding belly, “-I know mini me doesn’t either.”

Diego laughed at that. A fake laugh, sure, but it was pleasantly well executed. Maybe Allison’s acting abilities had rubbed off on her brother. 

“When are you due?”

“February! But it’ll probably be early. Both his mama and aunt were, so…”

“Yeah?”

Her sister nodded eagerly. “Y/N a little earlier than me, though funnily enough, that’s the only thing she’s not been late to? I mean, you probably know that though. How criminally late your girlfriend is to everything?”

“You’re hilarious,” Y/N grumbled back. “But I’m not that bad.”

She stole a carrot and sank back against the counter, that time a little bit apart from Diego. His arms, now freed from resting around her shoulder, folded across his broad chest. “You just don’t understand. Sometimes, you gotta take a couple more minutes to be this much better than your annoying git of a sister.” Half a joke, half bitter sentiment bottled up and thrown back at her sister’s simpering smile.

“Really?” the woman scoffed. She shuffled away from the pots, ready to pour the thick stew into the bowls. “Please. You’re just jealous that I got all this way before you. And that it took you five more years n’ me to meet a guy that’ll actually put up with you, eh?”

Okay, so that stung a little bit more. Mostly because it was a little too true - even if she did not know it. Y/N forced a chuckle, still, because it was supposed to be funny. “It’s more me putting up with him than vice versa, I’ll have you know.”

“Hey,” Diego admonished. His voice shook a little, but only the littlest bit, a tremor only she could probably sense. “I’m a dream.”

“Sure you are, sweetheart.” She did not miss the flash of surprise at the pet name, feeling a sense of pride for catching him off guard. “Do you know how many shirts of mine he’s ruined because he’s just thrown everything in with his bloody shit?”

“Hey, be grateful he does laundry!” Her sister groaned. “I mean, Andy’s a dream, I love him to bits, but…”

And just like that, things were okay. Her sister was eager to talk about her own relationship, her life in general - and both Diego and Y/N were more than okay to let the focus remain on her. The less questions about them, the better. They could eat in some sort of peace, and pretend to care a little bit more about her workplace politics than they did. And unlike at the Hargreeves place, Y/N did not have to worry about planting an emergency smooch on her ‘boyfriend’ in order to save face.

But of course, things could not be that simple. Just as she had been hoping for an easy visit in and out, the woman’s eyes widened and she seemed to remember who was joining her for dinner. That this was not just a normal get-together where she could talk an ear off a ‘friend’ and kick them out an hour later.

“Sorry for talking so much,” her sister gushed, resting her spoon in the now empty bowl. “I swear, I haven’t shut up at all. I’m such a rude host.”

Y/N scoffed. “Please, it’s fine. It’s nice to hear what’s going on in your life.”

“Well, sure, but this is when I’m supposed to be grilling Diego and making sure he knows not to hurt you, ask all about your future plans, embarrass you - yada, yada, yada. I totally forgot - it just felt natural, you know? But whoopsie, on my part.”

Y/N and Diego shared a look of minor distress. 

“But really,” her sister continued, oblivious to the tension growing, “I’m not that worried about him. Or you two. I knew you two were gonna have a thing from the start. Felt like it was just waiting for it to happen, you know?”

She laughed quietly, a little bitter. “Funny. Everyone seems to say that.”

“Do they really?”

She nodded again. “You’d be surprised. I-I mean, I was. Didn’t think that we were so, um…so obvious.” Obvious? More like out of a Hallmark Christmas special, from the way everyone gasped when they were told the two were not together. Really made a girl question-

“-well, probably ‘cause it’s true,” her sister shrugged, unknowingly interrupting yet another of Y/N’s inner monologues. She waved her piece of bread between the couple sitting across from her. “I mean, the way you two look at each other? I got to a point where I thought you two were already together, that I’d get a postcard from Vegas saying y’all eloped or something.”

“I wish,” Diego mumbled. But it was louder than he seemed to expect - at least, that was what his face said when both women looked his way. He swallowed and stammered for an answer. “I-I just m-m-m-mean, I had a thing for her for too long to count. If only I could have gotten a grip sooner.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, her hand finding his arm, squeezing lightly. “I should’a done the same. No sweat.” She looked his way, trying to make herself smile like those Hallmark movie women did. Her next words were softer, raspier as she struggled to get them out. “Guess we’re both just idiots…yeah?”

It was fake. Of course. There was nothing between them, no cheesy romance building that would lead them to a couple thousand fairytale moments afterwards. She knew that, he knew that - there was nothing between them, aside from mutual anxieties about screwing up their pretend relationship.

But the look he gave her, did not feel so fake. It was a little strange and a little too strong, like something in the way she said that made his heart twist like it did her own. His dark eyes trained on hers, slipping from them for a second to - did he look down, or was she just messing with her own mind? 

“You two are seriously, so adorable. I swear to god, it’s disgusting and I love this so much.” Her sister, oblivious to anything happening in front of her, continued on. “You actually like her, yeah?”

“Yeah. Course.”

She nodded. “Good. Cause you know, not everyone can be as lucky as I have been..and somehow, my sister manages to attract the worst guys. Always after the same thing, then once they really know her, they scram.”

Y/N bit her tongue, holding back any retorts that might slip out. She knew what she meant to say, but it really didn’t work. And putting up with her insinuating that she just couldn’t get a guy to actually like her…while she was talking to a current guy? It was to be expected, sadly, but that did not mean it did not hurt.

“But you know what, Diego, I think you’re okay. I mean, you’ve stayed this long, right?” Her sister cackled - yes, cackled - at her own joke, while both Diego and Y/N sat in silence. “Ha - right?”

Y/N downed her second glass of wine and wished she could sink into the floor.

✮✮✮

THE SECOND THEY WERE OUT OF HER SISTER’S house, and at a safe enough distance from it, Y/N finally let out the frustrated groan she had been holding back all night. She whirled away from Diego, catching just a glimpse of his confused expression before she let her facade be shattered.

“I regret ever, ever even suggesting we do this. You know what? I regret all of this. Lord - what was I thinking?”

A soft chuckle left his lips, quiet compared to aggravated shouts. “Was it that bad?”

“That bad?” She retorted. “Diego, that was like if Allison, Five and Luther all combined their DNA and created some super-being who then smoked a whole boatload of crack and decided to live in Suburbia and feed only on bragging and passive agressive remarks.”

“Mm. Might be an exaggeration.”

“I - barely but - come on, you didn’t see how bad she was?”

Diego shrugged and headed over to where he parked his car, her following suit after his silent gesture. “Maybe a bit.”

Y/N sank into the passenger seat with a snort. “She might as well thrown your stupid knives at you a thousand times over – or - or something stupid like that. The shit she said? Good lord, I would have thought she was the second coming of your dad.”

“Y/N-”

“-I mean, she basically told me to my face that I wasn’t deserving of you of anyone? And that you were just gonna up and drop my ass soon enough. And then, insinuated to you that you should get ready, like I was a goddamn timebomb just waiting to go off! Like she knows me through and through - she doesn’t know jack shit about me. Nothing! That woman only cares about one thing, and that’s herself. Ever since she could leave home, she lost the ability to think of me as anything than a piece of work that she was burdened to guide. And anything something happens to her, she gloats about it. Her stupid job, her stupid husband and their stupid Christmas vacation - everything is so fucking stupid and amazing and I’m just a piece of fucking stupid shit!”

She did not mean to grow so heated, and had not even realised things were so bad, until her voice cracked at the end and she felt hot tears build in her eyes. Y/N gulped in air and scrubbed at her cheeks, brushing away any tear that slipped out. She did not even dare to look Diego’s way, suddenly ashamed at her childish outburst.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know - sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

She laughed bitterly, still biting back the angry tears. “No, it’s not. You just put up with me and her all night, and then I have to come and whine like this - I’m so-”

“-hey, a’right, stop there. Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do-” she paused to sniffle and lifted her head so she could watch his face, “-what?”

He sighed, suddenly looking very out of his element. And she could understand why; sure, the two of them had been through a lot, but it was unlike either of them to break down in tears in their car, bitching about their family - further than just their surface actions. Normally, it was pushed down or masked by bad jokes, they’d drink too much and ignore their familial issues because mentioning them were too painful. Only sometimes did they face the pain - and honestly, Y/N could not remember a time she had truly broken down over her sister with him.

“Can we just get out of here, please?” She tried a tearful smile. “Escape this suburbian nightmare, ‘fore I lose my dinner in your car?”

He just nodded and revved the car engine, a strange look in his eye as he turned away. It looked as though he wanted to say something, even going so far as to open his mouth twice and look back her way - but nothing came out. They both just sat in silence then, driving forward aimlessly through the pretty neighbourhoods. Though neither really saw any of it; both were too lost in their thoughts to take in the sights.

“I don’t know why I bother,” Y/N finally mumbled, softer than anything else she had said before. She avoided Diego’s sharp gaze. “Like, I know I’m just gonna leave her place upset, but yet I keep going and letting myself be dragged through the dirt. Eve-even before you came, she was ragging on me. Maybe worse, I dunno. Just shit about how different we are, about how old I’ve gotten, and then just all these little malicious comments that makes her sound so much better than I am. I mean,” she choked, trying her best to hold back the emotions but failing, “she’s right, sure. I’m not like her at all. I live in a dump of an apartment, I’ve got no friends and my ‘boyfriend’ isn’t even really my boyfriend at all. Just a fellow loser I entrapped, got ourselves stuck together.”

“Y/N…”

“Right. You’re not a loser, sorry.” She snorted to herself, looking down at her trembling hands. “I’m the loser. Yeah? A sorry little loser, who you’re now fake-stuck with.”

She dared not look up. She did not want to see his face, to take in the pity, half-baked sympathy radiating through that he couldn’t express. That would probably just make things worse - it stung enough, admitting this out loud. She sounded like a whiny teenager all over again - and she really didn’t want to think about that just then, it was easier to pretend like this was all in her head, scrunch her eyes tightly shut and just let the car drive down the dark streets.

“If you’re a loser, than I’m a…a thousand times worse.”

She dared to open one eye, squinting his way. “Huh?”

“I-I - you’re - d-don’t let what she says g-g-get to you,” he stammered out. His voice was hoarse, low, hushed like someone else was listening in. “I mean, shit. Look what you’ve done for yourself.”

Y/N bit her lip and let both eyes open, but said nothing. Just sat in silence and waited for him to say more.

Which, he did, just a moment later. “You’ve got a good job you worked for. You work y-y-y-your ass off f-f-f-or everyone around you.”

“Not true, I-”

“-and you p-p-p-put up with my bullshit all the time. For nothin’ but the goodness of your heart.”

She scoffed a little at that, but she was smiling still, softly into the darkness. “Not true. You normally bring some sort of monetary gift back.”

“Sure. But a coupl’a pizzas and beers is nothing to what you do for me.”

“What does it matter? We’re friends, friends do stuff like for each other - what are you getting at here?”

He did not look her way. His eyes remained trained forward, frozen as they stared through the glass window, but she could tell they were not totally focused. All his energy was being poured into his words, forcing them to come out the way he wanted even through his evident emotional issue. He was holding something back, but what? She could not say for the life of her.

“D-don’t let yourself get d-d-dragged by her shit,” he finally said. His right hand left the steering wheel and hovered before falling awkwardly against his leg. “I did that to myself too long. Let the stupid numbers define who I was, just ‘cause a lunatic decided to give ourselves them so we h-h-hated each other. B-but you know who stopped me from letting it t-t-t-tear me up?”

She could barely breathe.

“You.” Only then did his eyes leave and meet her own, pausing as they bored into her glassy gaze before flitting away. “And maybe I can’t make the same speeches you can, b-but I’m not gonna let you think you’re not as fucking great as you are. You got that, Y/N?”

“Diego…”

“You’re maybe the greatest person I know,” he said, gruffer that time, “and sure that’s not much to say…but I do mean that.”

And Y/N, Y/N had no clue what to say to that. She stared his way, watching his stone face shift with the shadows, but no words left her lips. She could only watch in silent shock, unsure where this was all coming from - or how to respond to such sweet words. He had never said anything like that to her before, leaving compliments to five word-or-less mutters, and she would throw a joke back just so things didn’t get weird. That was what their friendship was. Don’t let shit leave surface level, else they might just drown in all the unspoken emotions lurking underneath.

But this was different. This was raw, and from his heart, confessions that she couldn’t just up and ignore. What she was supposed to make of it, she didn’t know, but she was certain it wasn’t just nothing. Diego didn’t say all that for nothing.

“Thanks,” she finally said, silently cursing herself for the trembling voice. “Means a lot.”

He grunted. “Sure.”

“No, I mean that…dude.” In an act of half adrenaline, half why-the-fuck-not, she reached out and tentatively touched his free hand. She ignored the shock that flinched through his body and grasped it tightly in her own. “I…I don’t know, I’m not good at accepting compliments.”

“It’s chill.”

“But, but,” she repeated, squeezing a little tighter, “I appreciate it. I needed that. You know? Sort of, okay, someone thinks something of you, but it’s okay cause I’ve got someone I actually l-care about in my corner. So…uh, I don’t know anything about boxing, I’m trying to make a reference but it isn’t working?”

She could just barely see a smirk creep across his mouth, and she in turn grinned at that, feeling a bit better then. His hand moved in hers, finally holding her own back. She almost drew away then, but still held tight - for reasons she could quite place. But she knew she didn’t want to let it go, let him go, and so she let her fingers intertwined with his, and let her back hit the seat once more.

Soon enough, they were on her street, then pulling up in front of her dimly-lit apartment lobby. Only then did Y/N shift again, slipping off her seatbelt and preparing to exit. Her hand, however, did not leave his just yet.

She glanced his way and bobbed her head towards the building. “You wanna come up?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“You sure?”

He nodded, smiling softly. She rarely saw that from him, the sweet grin he only let slip to certain people - but god, did it suit his face. Absent-mindedly, she made a note to remember how much she liked that smile on him.

“I have to get back, Al’ll kill me if I don’t close up properly tonight.”

“Okay. Well…uh, feel free to stop by, if you need to.” Her words hung between them, hesitant, unsure. Her hand slipped from his and she leant down to pick up her bag. “Thanks, Diego.”

Y/N’s hand found the door handle and she twisted away, gaze now far away from his own. She was just about to leave, when-

His hand found her arm and she turned immediately. Without hesitation, they both rushed forward and lips met lips, hitting one another sloppily before moving into better position, pressing hard and fast as though the world was ending and these were their last moments. She felt, almost distantly, as his hands met her face and tilted it up, just so he could reach it a bit better, taste her lips a little more against his. She found herself dropping her bags and reaching up too, threading her hands around his neck so she could hold him closer. They moved slightly awkwardly, but despite the tight space the embrace was still frantic and unhindered by the car. If anything, it only added to the close quarters, forcing the pair to pull even nearer to the other to feel the right amount of warmth from the other.

And then, just like that–

–it was over.

Both pulling away. Both wearing mirrored looks of shock. One sinking back into his seat, the other frantically searching for the passenger door handle and stumbling out. Both struggling to comprehend just what the fuck happened even as they ran away from the other, one slamming their brakes and the other forcing her legs to run like they never had before. Neither one stopped until their were both inside, pressed against their doors with hands tracing at their lips, lips that had been just so easily slotted against the others. Both left staring off hazily into the distance, unsure what that kiss meant - for them, and their future ‘together’.


	6. a tale of two love-struck fools.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...or, where everything not supposed to happen...happens.

_THINGS WERE OKAY. AT LEAST ON THE SURFACE._

For one, Y/N wasn’t required to wear heels that night, freezing her poor feet from the torture of stilettos all night. Which was a nice change. The shoes sure did look good, but she still had not figured out how people like Allison could wear six inch pumps for an entire day. One hour was torture enough.

She glanced down, wriggling her toes in the ankle boots she had chosen. She would have to thank whoever was running this event for the dress code - because she was much more okay showing up to this fancy shmancy awards ceremony if she could stand normally. And feel properly dressed - she could shrink into her sweater and still feel like she wasn’t a style disappointment to those around her. Which was also, quite nice.

Unfortunately that might just be where her list ended. Because as much as she was trying to find the silver lining, Y/N really was finding it impossible.

Why, one might wonder?

“There you are.”

He, was why.

She looked away from him, anywhere but him, scanning the crowds around her for something she can latch onto. “Here I am.”

“Was looking for you.”

“Hm,” she hummed back, playing absent-mindedness to cover up her racing heart. Hopefully he couldn’t hear it - though considering how loud it was pounding in her own ear? Might be a fool’s wish. “Well, I…was with Vanya.”

She shivered when his skin brushed hers; his hand barely grazed against her own, and yet there she was, practically fucking shaking like a leaf because - well, she wasn’t ready to face the ‘because’ just yet.

“Funny, cause I _talked_ to Vanya.”

“Good for you.”

“And she only talked briefly with you. But she’s barely seen you t’night.”

Y/N frowned then, stuck between a rock and a hard place - the latter being the same man she had made out with just a few days prior. The same man, she had been avoiding ever since.

See, after their rather shocking makeout session from a few days back, neither one knew what to do. That was not in the cards for their fake relationship - it had never been. Certainly, not without a point to play off of. But it had happened, both of them eagerly rushing into an ill-fated kiss that they would later debate over and over until the simple word ‘kiss’ was mush in their minds. And after that, neither one knew where they stood.

Scared of facing consequences, Y/N let herself vanish practically off the face of the earth. She threw herself into her work, but when she was not at school, she was at home, ignoring any calls that came her way or knocks at her door later at night. She knew if he truly needed her, he would just come through her window, so she never bothered answering the door. Not for the two times he came by.

She was not even sure why she showed up that night. They had not discussed further the extent of their fake relationship - or how their not-fake kiss played into it - and so really, she had no need to show and play his fake girlfriend. But there she was, showing up, and then regretting it once her consequences showed up to mock her.

“I had things to do.”

“Oh? Like what?”

But instead of answering that, she turned, glaring up at him. “What do you want me to say, Diego? You want my secretary to fax you my minutes? My schedule?”

“No,” he gritted back, “I want to _talk_.”

“That might be the first time I’ve _ever_ heard you say that.”

“Yeah? There’s been a lot of ‘firsts’ this week.”

She rolled her eyes, fighting back her nerves with stone fists, nails digging moon-shaped cuts into her palms. There was no way she was going to break and argue this with him right then and there. In public, in the midst of a hoity-toity fundraiser event…thing (truthfully, she still hadn’t figured out what was going on, but did that matter anymore?). She still had a little dignity. “We’re not talking about this.”

“Not your call to make.”

“It is,” she hissed, “considering I’m the one who agreed to do this stupid relationship thing. You want me to call us out right here and now?”

“Do that, and you’re dead too. I mean, you are the one who kissed me twi-”

“-can it, Hargreeves. _Don’t twist this solely on me._ ”

“Am I? Or-”

“-I told you. I’m not doing this here.”

“Then where?”

“I-”

“-attention, ladies and gentlemen, if you could look this way now?”

The two adults were forced to pause their hushed argument and avert their gaze forward. Both jaws clenched in frustration - for different, yet very similar reasons - and they stood stiffly beside one another, opposite of their happy couple facade performed just days ago. No one could even say they were friends, let alone in a committed relationship. So, it was pretty good the attention was not on them.

Y/N barely took in a moment of the presentation, past that it was basically the government (or something like that) kissing Five’s ass for an hour or so. He had done something, risking his life for something or other, and there they were, clapping with glassy eyes as high ranking officials raved on and on about how amazing he was.

She had to wonder just what he had done. Because it was rare, very rare, for Five Hargreeves to ever be on anyone’s good side. And normally she would question both the legality and hidden workings behind all this smiling government bullshit. However, in the circumstances she currently found herself in, she really couldn’t care less.

One it was done and the crowd began to move around, Y/N made her move to go - only to find herself held back by Diego. She tried to worm out of his firm grasp, but he silently refused, dark eyes practically begging her to stay. And maybe, it was the strange and quite unfamiliar look in his eyes that actually made her want to stay. Even if she would just argue the arm bit.

“I’m serious about what I said,” she mumbled, keeping her voice down just in case someone unwanted was nearby. “We can’t talk about this right here and now, not with your family buzzin’ about like flies.”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “But -” he was cut off by himself that time, eyes dropping from staring her down to someone behind her. They flicked back within seconds, but they lacked the same shine as a second ago, colder and more determined for something. Some reason. “When?”

“What did-”

“-don’t pretend like I don’t care about you.”

Y/N cocked her head in confusion, staring at him like he had just asked the craziest thing in the world of her. “Pardon _me_?”

“You know I want this to work.”

Her nose crinkled as she frowned. “Sure…uh, I guess, but we don’t have to discuss-”

“-isn’t this just the next step?”

“What the _hell_ are you going on about?”

It was only a second after that question when Y/N got her answer in the form of another’s actions. She started when a cold hand met her shoulder, but a quick glance to her side clarified the person, and Diego’s motivation. Lord, she would have to commend him on quick thinking. Maybe (she still had no clue what he was talking about).

“You two really seem to be laying into it,” Klaus grinned, as though he was asking their opinions on kittens. “Everything alright, _lovebirds_?”

“Uh - ju- _ust_ peachy.”

His eyes flitted from hers to meet Diego’s. “You seem rather tense, brother. What’s the matter?”

Before he could answer, to continue whatever little scheme he had concocted in his mind, Y/N cut in with a strained grin. “What are you doing here, Klaus? I didn’t think this would be your scene.”

“Oh, it rarely is,” he responded, already seeming to forget his question. “But I thought I’d turn over a new leaf, try and seem more respectable than I truly am. And…well, truthfully, I appreciate a good show.” His elbow met her side, nudging her teasingly. “If you know what I mean.”

“Should have known you had other motives.”

Klaus clicked his tongue at Diego. “I do care about Five’s…well, whatever he’s done, you know that. But I can support more than one fellow, you know.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

His pale arm stretched out, past the couple and over to a small crowd in the corner, of which Five was the centre. “See the dashing one in blue? With the plaid tie?”

When they both nodded, Klaus laughed. “His name’s Joe.”

“He’s cute,” Y/N responded. She dared not glance to her side and meet Diego’s eyes. “You sure he swings your way?”

“I know he does, matter of fact.”

“Oh, well then…I’m happy for you.”

Klaus, oblivious to either person’s discomfort, grinned and clapped his hands like a child. Were it any other situation, Y/N would have found it adorable. Be it as it were, however, she just wanted the conversation over with and a way to escape this nightmare of a night.

“I’d love to hear more,” she finally said, cutting him off just before he could really go on with it, “but I do have to run. It’s been a week of late nights and if I don’t make it home now, I might just crash here.”

In an instant, Diego was holding her waist, gently cradling her to him in a way she did not totally despise - though it was a huge shock to her nervous system, nearly made her jump in fright. “I keep telling you to take a break, but no, somehow I’m in the wrong.”

So they were still playing along. God, how hard it was becoming to hold her smile. “Look, _baby_ , you just don’t understand it. Those kids need me!”

“And I need you alive, and yet here you are working yourself to death.” His lips found her skin, pressing into her temple for a moment before pulling away. She fought the urge to wipe where he had burned the kiss into her skin, smiling through her mental anguish.

Klaus clasped his hands under his chin and smiled, looking like the most deranged cupid in the world. “You two - I mean, really. It’s disgusting, how much you two love each other. I think I might vomit, just looking at you.”

“Well,” Y/N said, hesitantly stepping back just a little at the ‘vomit’ mention, “good thing we’re leaving then. Let me know how you and Joe go, yeah?”

“I’ll spare no details,” he winked back, before making ‘shooing’ motions with his hands. “Have fun, be safe!”

Diego’s grip tightened on her shoulders as they weaved through the crowds, as though he thought she might try to run away. She wished she didn’t like it.

“Good work.”

“Nice save.”

Diego grinned, a cocky smile she had learned to both love and hate with passion. “Anything for my _baby_.”

“Shut up, or I’ll stab your guts out.”

“With my own knife?” He didn’t even seem the tiniest bit flustered, by how she had snuck the weapon out of his pocket. If anything, the look on his face read more flattery. “How sweet.”

She rolled her eyes, hesitating a long moment before handing it over. If only she had kept it; she might have been able to rid herself of her mental misery before it would be too late.

Oh, well. She couldn’t run from it, or him, forever.

Unfortunately. Why’d she have to go with a super-human fake-boyfriend, again? 

||

**_“DID YOU DRIVE?”_ **

Y/N shook her head. “Walked. You?”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t need-”

“-please,” he said, a little softer that time. His hand grazed the small of her back, lingering just a moment before slipping away. “You n’I both know these streets aren’t safe.”

Much as she did not want to admit he was right, she did feel a bit better having someone by her side. It was dark out and sure, she knew how to protect herself - but having a guy who did it semi-professionally walking her home didn’t hurt. So she nodded and without another word, followed him out the glass doors.

It was then, too, she was glad she wore comfortable shoes. It was only a ten minute walk, but she did not want the added stress of aching feet on top of her and Diego’s tension.

They walked in silence for a couple minutes. Side by side, barely touching - shoulders grazing, but only just. And for a long moment, it felt normal. Like nothing had happened and this was just them. Comfortable, revelling in the quiet of the streets that night and one another’s company. For a second, Y/N could almost convince herself that that was the way things were.

But of course, things couldn’t be that way. Not how they left it.

“So…”

“So…”

“Why didn’t you return my calls?”

Y/N sighed, letting her eyes fall to the pavement below. “Dunno. It was a long week.”

“Could have told me that.”

“After the way we left things? I figured you would have taken any response from me as a sign to start an argument. Hell,” she chuckled mirthlessly, “I half expected you to crawl through my window at two in the morning, looking for a chat in person.”

She glanced up to see his face; twisted, in a mixture of anger and something she could not quite read. “I’m a dick, but I’m not a total asshole.”

“Sure.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. I…figured you needed some space.”

She nodded. “I assumed. And I appreciate it.”

“ _But_ ,” he continued, taking her gratitude as a sign to push forward, “s’not like we can really go on like this.”

“Why not?”

Diego stopped in his tracks. His hand met hers, pulling her to a stop in front of him. He stared down at her, still with that same confusing look in his eyes. “You kissed me, Y/N. Don’t remember that being in the rules.”

“I did that _before_ -”

“-that was not the same,” he argued, cutting her off before the excuse could finish. “That was for…there was no reason to kiss me then. We both know that.”

Y/N stuffed her hands into her coat and stared down at the pockets, like they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. “Why are you asking me all this? I mean, you can’t pretend like you didn’t kiss me, too. You practically started it. All this!”

“That’s not true.”

“Mm,” she laughed, a little bitterly that time, “su- _ure_. We were both there, Diego. We’re both guilty in this. You wanted it, I-I-” she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. Instead, she stared downwards stricken, trying to avoid processing just about anything going through her head just then. “I…fuck, why am I even trying to explain this!”

When he said nothing, she sighed. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“What was?”

“This. Agreeing to this. I mean, you’re great, really stupid great dude, but this whole fake dating thing is making it really hard to - I don’t know. This is a mess.”

He huffed. “I never made you do this.”

“I didn’t say you did! I know I agreed to it, just clearly I had no idea what it was like to date you.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I-”

Before she could finish that sentence, screams erupted from a little whiles away, followed by curses and a lone gunshot. They both immediately started, Diego carefully slipping past Y/N to source the noise - and her following right after.

The pair raced into the alleyway with Diego quickly taking the lead. Despite it being dark, three figures could clearly be made out in the dim lights and both immediately saw the offending gun. Neither even stopped to consider it, though, rushing forward like a well oiled team ready to spring into action.

“Stop!” Diego hollered. From within his jacket he pulled two knives. They went flying and each hit a different offender. From the screams of pain following, it was clear his targets were matched. He reached in to pull out another, only to curse. “Shit - Y/N?”

She nodded even while falling to her knees by the side of their victim. She looked the young woman over, helping her sit up while her hands felt for cuts or bruises. She wasted no time glancing up, “Go! _Go_!”

Without a second more hesitation, Diego was off like a flash after the fleeing trio. Y/N remained by the woman’s side, not even bothering to check what was happening around her. Which, perhaps was her downfall, trusting so blindly in her friend’s skill. She only focused on the woman and making sure she was okay, and not in what was happening around her.

At that moment, time felt almost like it had slowed down. Like everything had gone from normal to slow motion, leaving her struggling even more to keep up with what was around her. A cry erupted from the young woman, leaving Y/N to glance up questioningly - but before she could ask what was the matter, a gunshot sounded. Her head twisted, staring off where Diego had just run, only to see her doom come racing her way - and not his.

A second later and she herself was crying out, the sound mingling with those of the girl beside her. The bullet might as well have been a truck, from the force of the hit. It left her shocked and with no control over her body, she collapsed like a bird to the cold pavement. She heard a flurry of sounds around her, yelling and curses, but none of them made any sense to her just then. All she could truly hear was the woman she had just been helping. She would not stop talking, but Y/N could not understand what was being said - some sort of foreign language, perhaps Polish from the sounds of it. It was sad, though, mourningful and the intention behind it was clear.

But there was no time for that just then.

The pain was bad. Definitely bad. Like, on a scale from one to ten, she would have to say it felt past eleven. From where the pain radiated, too, she would only have to assume it was not just a graze.

“Shit.”

Y/N felt at her side and pulled back her hand to see blood. She moved back once more, that time pushing harder even when the pain practically exploded inside her - she dug at the wound, trying her best to gauge how bad of a hit she had.

Judging by what little pressure she could stand, it was pretty bad. Bracing herself on the young girl and the cold pavement, she forced herself into a sitting position, pressing her bloodied fingers back into the wound - despite how much it hurt, she knew it was the only way she would make it through this. Gritting her teeth, she held the other hand out.

“Phone,” she gasped. When the woman just stared, she shakily brought the hand to her ear, miming a call. “9-1-1. You have a phone?”

“Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.”

She remained by her side as she called, which Y/N was grateful for, as it meant she had someone to lean upon. It felt like hours as they waited - though really, it was mere seconds, waiting for the shouts to cease in the background and for the stupid operator to realise what was being asked of it. She had half a mind to grab the phone and say it herself - she would, if she had any strength to move. As it were, she was barely keeping herself up, and only had to hope the woman’s broken English would save her.

Footsteps echoed like bullets of their own on the pavement, and Y/N instinctively scrunched her eyes up tight, begging for some relief. Somehow, the pain from her side was hitting all over her body - she felt like she had been hit a thousand times, pummeled by some ancient god who wished her nothing but ill will.

Just as she lost hope, however, she heard Diego’s voice, practically felt his own body hit the pavement beside her. Vaguely, she could make out both him and the woman talking, but neither voice stood enough out amongst the pain.

Firm, warm arms found their way around her and pulled her in. Y/N let herself slump back, barely opening her eyes to take in what was around her. Diego had pulled her half onto his lap, enough so she was resting solely on his chest and on his legs. She heaved in a breath.

“Where’d it hit you?”

“Side,” she mumbled. Was this always how it went? She had very little (as in, none until that night) experience with gunshot wounds, but they were really more of a bitch than she knew. It was like she could feel her lifeforce slipping out of her body, with each breath becoming more and more of a hardship, her chest barely rising and falling.

“You’re gonna be okay. You know that, right?”  
  


“Mm-hmm.” She was barely awake, only forcing her lids open. Somewhere, far away, she remembered yelling at Diego to do that - there must be a point, to not falling asleep. “Called…9…”

His hands brought her closer to him, pressing her shivering figure into his torso with more strength she knew he possessed. “I know. I know. The woman’s waiting. Just - stay with me, okay? You gotta stay with me.”

“Mm…”

“No. C’mon, Y/N, stay with me. Okay? It’s…” she heard that unmistaken quiver in his voice, and even in her weakened state, she felt the urge to help him. Only, she couldn’t find the words or the stamina to say them, and found herself helpless in easing his panic. 

“It’s…gonna b-b-b-be…you’re o…o… _shit_ ,” he cursed, a muffled sob not far behind the words. “C’mon, b-b-ba…c’mon…”

Y/N forced a smile on her lips. It was getting harder and harder to stay conscious, but _dammit_ if she wasn’t going to try for his sake. Her hand left her side, shakily reaching up to find his cheek. Blood stained the skin, but neither even seemed to notice.

“M’okay,” she mumbled, even while drowning - the pain was definitely getting to her, more so than she could have ever dreamed. She hissed in a breath, “m… _okay_. Don’t…don’t cry for m-me, _Argentina_.”

Even as the world began to shake and go black, she saw his face, staring down at her like she was the most important thing in the world. Somewhere amidst the grief and fear and uncertainty, Diego slipped a grin - and even if it was a waste of potentially last words, she would at least go knowing she got to see him smile again. “S-s-hut up,” he whispered.

And before she could offer anymore of a response, just a bloody smile to match his own, Y/N fell limp in his arms, moving no more.


	7. bullet wounds & bleeding hearts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they've reached a point in the blurred lines where labels are at the bottom of the list of important things to remember. they're just too eager for warmth and relief that throwing themselves at one another in search of that is way too easy and they'll do it without remorse.

_**PEOPLE THEORIZE A LOT ABOUT COMAS.**_ And more specifically, what they do to a person. **  
**

More specifically than _that_ , where a person goes, once in one. What the mind and psyche creates for them, where and when they escape off to while their body falls apart. If they relive their life’s best and worst moments until they can return to reality, if they dream on continuously - like the world was just one bad trip, and waking up they would not even realise their sleep had lasted more than a day. Or, if the person’s aware of everything around them, just unable to open their eyes and rejoin life - but maybe that was something totally different entirely.

But it was nothing like that, for her.

There was no way to tell just how much time transpired, when out; it could have been an hour, a couple days, three years tossed down the drain, for all she knew. Time moved so much differently, lost in the hellish dreamscape of the inbetweens of life and death. 

For the most part, she felt absolutely nothing at all. Not even a sense of drowning, or darkness, or anything around her; like she was dead, her brain was turned off, and really…nothing at all. The only way she knew she was still alive and things were happening was when her brain woke up just a little, enough to send her into panics she could not express. She still could not move or speak or fucking _breathe_ on her own, but she felt the world crashing in, sluggish and deafening around her. People moving around her, voices, loud noises echoing like crashes and explosions that she could not place. It felt like she had been laid down in a warzone, paralysed from head to foot and forced into silence. Just waiting for her eventual death.

And the voices…she really could not distinguish most. Or if they were even real. She got flashes of familiarity, phrases and sentences that added up to only nonsense in her mind - threats of violence, promises, old memories so faded they might as well be someone else’s. None of it made sense. It just made her feel more and more scared, and trapped, every time she ‘woke up’ again. Left her craving the still of death once more, waiting for its skeletal hands to cradle her trembling figure again.

Finally, however, she heard the first _real_ sound in a long time. She left the stillness to a strange noise, not a voice but a repetitive beep that would not turn off. At first, she thought it was also in her mind and that if she just ‘shut’ her eyes, sleep would once more overtake her - but despite her mental protests, the sound wouldn’t stop. If anything, it got louder, forcing her forward until she could just about think of opening her eyes.

And then, the beeps were joined by another sound; soft, almost non-existent mumbles, or snuffling of something? Something alive, not a machine, but…Y/N wasn’t sure what it was at first. 

That was, until she began to move. With all the strength possessed in her frail figure, she pushed her lids open, blinking away copious tears welling at the bright light and forcing her eyes to work again.

She found herself in a small, white room - and though her mind seemed a million miles away, she could sort of guess it was a hospital room. There really was not much around her, the bed being the main furniture. The beeping came from her right, and she was able to crane her neck just enough to see some sort of monitor, the sort she would have seen on a crappy doctor’s show. With flashing lights and graphics she really couldn’t make out and honestly just hurt her head. She turned away from that pretty fast.

To her left, however, was a different story. She found the other source of the noise; Diego was slumped over in a chair too bony to be comfortable, softly snoring away. Which was never a good sign. The man was a quiet, still sleeper, like he was always waiting for something to happen - but after too long without sleep, his body would collapse into emergency catch-up mode. She had seen it many times after he’d come to her. And he always snored then.

She sighed, letting her head fall back against the pillow. There was no pain, which she guessed was either good or bad _(who knew what the doctors were pumping through her veins, eh?)_ but her mouth was bone dry and she felt helpless, like even calling out for Diego was a deathly trial.

Y/N craned her neck again, taking his slumped figure in. He was almost right next to her bed, close enough that if she could reach out -

-her hands shook like tsunami waves, crashing against his black jacket like jagged knives of limestone on a cliff. She just could not find strength enough to angle them right, finding herself only able to brush the man and hope he felt her touch from wherever he had drifted to. Forget calling out; she could only mimic motion in the barest of touches, waiting for something to happen.

Luckily, it only took maybe a minute for him to stir. Slowly at first, then when realising what woke him up, he was up in seconds. His hands met her own, squeezing tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he croaked out, voice hoarse and worn out - she could only imagine how much stress-induced yelling he had been doing. Begging for something to be done, snapping at anyone who tried to get him to move; the guy was all too predictable. “I just fell asleep, I-”

“-s….okay…” Her vocal cords felt rusted over; how long had it been since she spoke? Her hand left his, gesturing weakly towards her throat. “Wa…wa…ter?”

“Shit, right.” He left her side and grabbed at a glass by her right. Within a moment he was by her left again, bringing it up to her lips. His hands shook ever so slightly. “Careful.”

But she ignored his word and slurped at it eagerly, too parched to be ashamed at how childlike her actions were. Too long had her throat been forced dry - how long had it been since the relief of a glass of water? 

Once she had drunk enough, she waved it away, doing her best to smile. “Thanks.”

“Course.” His eyes remained on hers, steady and dark. “How…how are you feeling?”

She glanced away for a moment to look down at herself in the bed, before looking back. Slowly, Y/N shrugged. “M’not sure…weird. I don’t know how I should feel.”

“Right. Well, you’re on a shit load a’drugs, so I guess that’s stopping the pain. Uh…you remember what happened?”

She frowned. “Sort of. More…I don’t know. Remember the pain…like burning, on my side. Talking…was there a Polish chick?”

Diego didn’t crack even the tiniest of smiles. “Ukranian. But yeah. She was with you when it h-hi-she called the ambulance.”

“Right.”

“Look, Y/N, I am so-”

Before he could continue, a new voice joined the duo, one Y/N was certain she did not know. She tore her eyes away from the man by her side to take him in; tall, gray-haired and smiling from ear to ear. It made her a little uneasy, the look; was this how all gunshot victims were treated? With doctors who thought big grins and happy tones were a good answer? If she didn’t already have a headache, she would by just one look his way.

“Good to see you up! Was wondering when that’d be happening.” He seemed to grin even larger, if that was even possible, and made his way around her bed. She watched him fiddle with something behind her, before moving into her view once more. “How are you feeling?”

“Um…weird,” she mumbled, struggling to find any words to describe the feeling. “Tingly.”

“No pain?”

“Not really.”

He nodded. “Good. You’re going to be hopped up on pain meds for a while, but just let someone know when you start feeling anything.”

“Okay.”

Once more, he nodded. He looked like a bobblehead, almost, in the ways his head swivelled and shook on his too-small neck. “You got quite lucky, I must say. Good support system. This guy, right here? Barely moved at all while you were out.”

Her hand squeezed a little, in Diego’s. “How long was I out?”

“About three days, after surgery.”

“S-surgery?”

His grin got a little strained, there, but somehow still remained. Impressive. “Yes. Yeah, we had to get you straight into intensive care after you were brought in. The bullet hit your right hip, just about here-” he grazed the blanketed leg lightly, “-but then travelled downwards into your leg. Which was somewhat good, you avoided serious damage to your hip, but it did nick your femoral artery.”

Y/N frowned, glancing down to where his hand hovered. She could not even remember feeling pain in her leg; it had radiated from her hip alone. “How…how did it go down?”

“Well,” the man sighed, “from what we could gather, you were at just the right angle for the bullet to go straight through the hip. Since it didn’t hit that bone - again, a lucky point on your part, it tore right through and down to your upper thigh. The bullet actually remained lodged, which made reason for surgery. If it had come straight through, well, I don’t know what situation we’d be in but you were very fortunate. Held you from bleeding out on us.”

Something about the emphasis on ‘lucky’ made her feel somehow worse. Like she was a kid all over again, and before getting the bad news, her parents had to amp up the few ‘good’ things about the situation. She really wished he would stop smiling.

“How much…I…” she weakly lifted her hands, gesturing downwards. “How much damage has been done? In simple terms…please.”

His grin shrank a little more. “Well, that’s a bit complicated. The surgery was a success, although there were several blood transplants needed to cover that hit your artery sustained. However, because of said bleeding, and the way the bullet hit, it will be a long recovery time. The leg muscles are built to be used, but when damaged as yours was, well - I can bring in the charts and explain this to you simply, if you want?”

Y/N bit her lip, hard enough to rip through. Absent-mindedly, she noticed the taste of blood, licking a bead of red off. “Long?”

“The timeframe is hard to estimate,” he said - and at least that time, he had the courtesy to look semi-apologetic. “After a couple days, we’ll check in and see how well the limb is functioning, if the muscles are healing properly. You should be able to head home by that time, if it’s healing right. But I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to use the actual limb for a while.”

Vaguely, from what felt like far away, she heard Diego curse. The doctor kept talking, throwing around words she could not understand, verbal warfare against her already panicking mind, creating a chasm of stress and fear inside her brain. She wanted to do something, reassure him, ask the doctor what she could do and when - but it was impossible when she herself was drowning in panic.

Where had Diego gone? Why did he feel so far away? He sat beside her, but his hands were fidgeting and his face tight, and she just wanted him to tease her, hug her, promise her that she wasn’t lo-

“-judging by your faces, this isn’t sounding great but I promise, you’re in the best possible case scenario. I mean, you got here at the best time, you’ve had the best working to put you back together. And physical therapy will be a big help, you’ll be recommended some top-tier-”

“-whenwillIbe _better_?” 

Her words were hardly a breath, leaving right along with the little air in her system, but Diego still heard it. He clutched tight to her tsunami waves for hands and looked pleadingly the doctor’s way. “Can we h-have a moment?”

“I-” his eyes darted between the two, before resigning to an answer. “Sure. A nurse will be in at five, with me. Let me know if anything happens.”

Diego just nodded and watched him leave. The second he was out the door, he turned her way, hands moving from hers to hold her face, brush away the tears quickly slipping down her cheeks. Blearily, she made out his own eyes, swimming with emotions she had not seen from him in a long, long while. “Hey. Hey, it’s - it’s g-g-gonna-”

“-I got shot,” she huffed, struggling to get the words out between sobs. “I got shot, I got - I can’t walk?”

“That’s not -”

“-holy shit, Diego,” she cried, and in an instant his arms were around her, holding her as close as he could to his own trembling figure. She tried to talk, but failed and simply gave into the sobs. Words struggled to make their way through, really indiscernible and lost. Whatever it was, Diego could probably guess the point they were making - and it did not ease the guilt bubbling in his stomach for a second.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” she whispered, sobs turning into quick huffs of breaths caught like she was running out of air. “You - the guy - the way he talked - I’m so fucking-g screwed.”

“Don’t say that.”

“That’s how they do it, don’t they? Make you feel…lucky, like you dodged a -” she stopped to snort, like any of this was funny - “-a bullet, but you’re really screwed.”

“Stop.”

“What if I never walk again?”

His arms stiffened around her - only for a second, but enough for her to notice. It was not a thought only she had had. What more did he know? “I…l-look, you’ve always said it best. Look at the bright side.”

She slipped out of his grasp then, pulling back so he could see her face. Stained with tears and puffy, with red and dark circles alike taking a toll on the previously bright expression. She was scared, and rightfully so. 

“I don’t know how to do that,” she mumbled, staring him down as though somehow, she could give him all the fear through her eyes, make him feel all the things she did. And maybe she could, because the longer he looked, the harder it felt to keep his own composure. 

“I don’t know how to do that…not with this.”

Diego didn’t say anything to that. All he did was hold her a bit tighter and sigh heavily as he traced circles into her back with shaking hands. In return she used his shoulder as a tissue and openly sobbed, uncaring as to who saw or what repercussions came. As far as she could see, it didn’t matter anyways. Did it?

“What do I _do_ now?”

Her words were soft, kitten mews into the heavy silence. Accented only with another heavy sob.

“I don’t know, Y/N.”

She cried a little harder. His arms couldn’t hold her close enough.

“But I’ll be right there with you. M’not letting you go, not now.”

She sniffled. “Don’t say that.”

“Why? I mean it.”

“I’m a fuck-”

“-shut up,” he murmured, hand finding hers and closing over it. He held it to his own pounding heart. “I’ll be there. That’s that. Okay? W-whatever happens, I will be there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N shut her eyes and leant her head against his dampened shoulder. She let herself focus on the sound of his heartbeat and the steadily beeping machines, somehow a semi-relaxing melody despite the stress behind each. She squeezed his fingers gently.

“O…kay. Okay.”

She felt his lips meet the crown of her hair, then his own head fall against hers. And then it was just nothing more than the two of them. A small duo, amidst the chaos of it all, finding just a moment of peace before things got even worse.

That was not the end of her tears shed that day, far from it. She cried more than she had in years, maybe more than her entire life. She cried when her sister came, when her dad showed up and told her her mother couldn’t get away from work, she bit through her lip trying to hold back the tears when her class’ warm messages of ‘get better’ finally got delivered. The dam was broken; the water dripped freely down her cheeks, waterfalls of emotions held back for too long.

Six weeks was a minimum of her being able to properly walk again, and it felt like it was a lifetime. The doctor broke down physical therapy rules, recovery times, prescriptions and all the ways she could be fucked otherwise by this wound, and the nurse pumped her to the brim with all sorts of medicines she couldn’t begin to pronounce. Her sister pretended to cry before leaving and her dad drank through six straight coffees, dumping packet upon packet of Splenda until the garbage can was filled with paper and cardboard cups. The doctor droned on and on, and the nurse kept ‘checking up on her’, and everyone kept wishing her fake sentiments and fake smiles that might as well be placebos, sent to placate her weakening psyche.

It was only hours later, when there was any relief. When they were all gone, and yet for some reason, Diego stayed.

“Don’t’cha have to…” she cleared her throat, trying to speak past the lump in her throat. “Y’know. Fight crime? Play neighbourhood superman tonight?”

Diego shook his head. His grasp on her hand tightened and it was only then when she realised how long he had held on. She had gotten used to the feeling, with her own fingers limp and weak throughout the day, and yet he had traced steady circles into her skin for the entire day and into the night.

“Not tonight.”

“Diego…I’ll be okay.”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Just go, I’ll-”

“-m’not leaving,” he grunted, firm and hoarse. He ducked his head so she could not see his expression, but Y/N did not have to see his face to know what he was thinking. “S’all.”

She was exhausted and still weak, and the limbs that did work didn’t seem to want to, but still she tried. Y/N adjusted herself on the hospital bed and laced her fingers properly through his, gripping tighter than she could all day. His head moved at that, but did not lift.

Carefully, she lifted their joined hands to her chapped lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. The lump in her throat grew larger, and she found herself unable to speak more than a ‘thank you’, but maybe it was more than suffice, for the two of them.

Only then did their eyes meet, and his other hand moved to grip tight to theirs. Diego’s lips quivered, but he stayed silent, simply letting go of the breath held back in his own throat. Their faces remained close, separated only by their own hands, but holding onto the matched caring gaze reflected on both of their faces.

There was a feeling of mutual fear, and grief, and shame and loss that ascended the wound - years of pain between the two of them that sped up to meet this moment joyfully. But they did not speak on any of it. Just held tight to one another, even as her hands grew weary and trembling and his gaze grew dark.

She fell asleep looking at him, and feeling finally, the littlest bit of hope.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time actually writing on AO3, I've only ever read so fingers crossed, I'm doing this right.  
> I originally started this on my Tumblr, but I've decided to just move it over here too, I feel like it's an easier platform to read on (at least for me, i generally gravitate towards ao3 over tumblr/elsewhere) and so I figured, I'd give it a shot.
> 
> This is a very cheesy trope...but one I absolutely adore. I'm a sucker for fake dating stories, and man...there's not enough love for Diego Hargreeves, so I figured I'd just sling this story out there and let a little more appreciation be shot his way. I hope you enjoy this + the parts to come. x


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